I had a thought/vision in some crowded place that “all souls that exist now, have existed since the beginning of the universe.” We are all equal in that way.
And perhaps all of us have been kings and queens, beggars, saints and sadists. Maybe we are like the people in Dark City, who are not at all who we firmly believe ourselves to be.
It’s not good to live too long in strange places like that, but also not good to shy away from them either. If you really look at it, it is a very odd thing that we have to live lives with so little good information; or, alternatively, that so much handed down to us in religious texts has to be taken on faith.
I’m feeling increasingly strongly that being confused is OK. Perfection is not possible in this world, and striving for it generally damages the person striving for it, and everyone and everything around them. Just show up. Try. Do your best, even if your best feels weak and pathetic. That’s what I am telling myself.
My particular work consists in learning how to be much smaller.