Month: August 2015

In responding to a comment, I looked up and reread a letter on the Oklahoma City bombing by  General Partin. http://whatreallyhappened.com/RANCHO/POLITICS/OK/PARTIN/ok8.htm

His conclusion:

Based on my experience in weapons development and bomb damage analysis, and on my review of all evidence available, I can say, with a high level of confidence, that the damage pattern on the reinforced concrete superstructure could not possibly have been attained from the single truck bomb. The total incompatibility of this pattern of destruction with a single truck bomb lies in the simple, incontrovertible fact that some of the columns collapsed that should not have collapsed if the damage were caused solely by a truck bomb, and, conversely, some of the columns were left standing that should have collapsed if the damage had been caused solely by the truck bomb.

Here is what I wanted to comment on, though: “It is my observation that the effort required to bomb the A. P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City pales in comparison with the effort to cover up evidence in Oklahoma and the media’s withholding of vital information from the American people.”

The same, obviously, could be said of 9/11.

The question is often asked, and it is a logical question: how could a conspiracy that vast be so cohesive?  How could there be no leaks?  How has there been no one willing to step forward and say “I was there, and this is what I did, and this is what I saw.”

Even with regard to Benghazi, we are finally going to see both a documentary and a film based on the accounts of those who were silenced for so many years.  They may not tell the whole truth, but they will tell a lot of it.

It is impossible (for an honest, reflective person) to speak with confidence about such deep mysteries, but it seems to me the most logical conclusion is that all the people involved BELIEVE in the cause.  They are not betraying confidences because they are working with their friends and colleagues.

And what is that cause?  My gut tells me it is bringing about a global iteration of the Pharaonic project, and that the proximate bonding method is something most of us would call Satanism.

I read books like Deeply Odd and I can’t help but wonder if they contain truths.  Newtown, CT was the home of one of the only posted Satanic churches in the country.

As any regular readers I may have know, I often think out loud, and I often propose bold, slightly or completely crazy ideas.  This is OK.  Nobody depends on this blog for their safety and I don’t make a living at it.  I am not asserting what I am about to say is true, and I’m not even asserting I think it is true.  It is something to think about.

One clear way you could ensure someone’s loyalty would be first traumatizing them, or making sure they had trauma in them, and then regularly enacting sadistic rituals.  The enthusiasm of that person for that “work” would be obvious.  And if they ever started entertaining doubts, there would be a period where they started acting differently, where their previous zeal was diminished.  It would take many months, likely many years, for any stirring of conscience to bear fruit into genuine regret.  And it would be on prominent display the whole time, for the group to take what action it sees fit.

Our world could be so much better than it is.  Why isn’t it?  Who is at the center of the efforts to make it worse?  Human stupidity and cupidity, obviously, but there seems to be more than that.

https://video-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hvideo-xfl1/v/t42.1790-2/11943646_907071956047035_61393747_n.mp4?efg=eyJybHIiOjMyNCwicmxhIjo2MTgsInZlbmNvZGVfdGFnIjoicmVzXzQyNl9jcmZfMjNfbWFpbl8zLjBfc2QifQ%3D%3D&rl=324&vabr=180&oh=864141caf056805f624c8e85f7579f4f&oe=55E4AB56

I was thinking about this.

First, it seems that this amounts to a public outreach campaign.  You have one place anyone can go to get tickets, and a second location where, presumably, existing members of the Satanic Temple can go to meet their new members.  I wonder if some of those people might not have been prominent members of the community.  Certainly, they could have been.

Second, it seems the news media was being manipulated, in that the statue is not actually getting unveiled “in public”.  It was unveiled in a private location, but pictures were provided to the news media, which actually provided significant advertising for the cause and presumably caused a lot more people to show up.

Third, I find it interesting that they wanted to make the tie-in “controversy”, as if there were not something inherently wrong with Satanic pedophilia.  I can’t help but feel more and different feelings would have been on display fifty years ago.  The reporters seemed to have no reaction at all.  Our sensibilities have become jaundiced to all but those certain situations involving race, sex, or sexual orientation where we react like Pavlovian dogs to start salivating and barking at the usual targets.

Fourth, I GET these people, I think.  They have horrors in their lives, traumas in their lives.  They feel lost, isolated, alone, different. They feel weird, disconnected.  Some of the worst hurt of them have likely already lapsed into sadism, but all of them feel a need for connection through pain.  What Baphomet offers them is a release from loneliness and solitude.  That is why so many of them are smiling.  They are anticipating a community of like-minded people, and a ceremony where they are a part of something bigger.

As I have said, I think sacrifice speaks to the gut self, the animal self, the predator.  This is where trauma hides, and where it can be released, temporarily.  The “high” religions of antiquity turned sacrifice into a spectacle and contained it within cultural limits.  To this I would oppose the headhunters of the world, who when they felt rage or grief would simply go kill someone, and take a trophy to recollect that feeling of release.

As I have said before, too, I think serial killers are enacting on a personal level the same dynamic which sacrifice does on a social level.

It has been my sense since college that an understanding of sacrifice–again, an “act of the sacred”–is essential to understanding the human condition itself.

And what is the difference between human and animal sacrifice?  According to this analysis, the level of detachment, which is to say hurt.  The Carthaginians I mentioned in the previous post threw children live into an enormous fire, just as Elie Wiesel reported the Nazis did 2,000 years later.

I will remind you as well that the word Holocaust is a religious word, used to refer to an animal sacrifice which is entirely consumed by fire.

One of the effects of trauma is hypervigilance, which amounts to an instinctual sense that EVERYTHING MATTERS.  That sound, that glance, that unreturned phone call, that shadow: they all may signal danger.  It would not be wrong to call it a prolonged perceptual spasm.


But you cannot maintain a spasm forever.


In my own case I started reading what I would now term nihilistic literature–that of the Dada movement–in my late teens to try and kill this nagging sense that everything mattered.  In my own case, having been raised by outwardly pious and highly judgmental parents, I was afraid to lift a finger to do anything.  I could not remain a child, and I could not emerge into adulthood.  So I had what amounted to a mild mental breakdown, of the sort common enough among clever people in our conflicted and deeply confused age.


In order to counter the effects of the spasm, I took what amounted to an affective neurotoxin, the idea that NOTHING mattered.


But this of course leads directly to nowhere.


I ought of course logically–the logic of our time being of course highly illogical–to have begun reading socialist comic books (they are all, even Marx, comic books).


But I decided to pursue “spirituality”, which by and large has its own set of comic books, its own confusions masquerading as profundity, its own escapes from reality.  Most of the time, in my experience, if someone describes themselves as “spiritual” you should run away.  This is regrettable, but largely true. I am often separated from people with whom I ought to share a common label.


Then I discovered, decades later, the clinical uses of alcohol.  I have used it to anesthetize my inner child while I try and figure out a way forward.  It gets what it needs, and my mature self gets some freedom of action.


My task presently is to merge the two without alcohol, and the only way I can do that is to get the message to my traumatized self that some things matter and some don’t.  That alertness is sometimes useful, and sometimes superfluous or even counterproductive.


Deep in meditation yesterday I was speaking to this part, and it fully expected to be killed any day throughout childhood.  I assured it that I could guarantee it would make it to at least 46.  I can’t make any promises about tomorrow, but it never expected to get this far.


It occurred to me the other day that this blog is a bit of a boundary violation.  I overshare, and it comes from an emotionally underdeveloped place.  It is likely much or most of this should just go in my written journal.  Or, since physically writing slows me down terribly, I could type things up and print them.


But this is still somewhat comforting.  It is a type of sharing, even if I am sharing with persons unknown to me, some of whom presumably wish me ill.  None of us make it out of this world alive, or unscarred.  The deeper the cuts, the deeper the experience.  And we choose daily what to do with that experience.  Me, I use it as wind, or try to.


The point of this post, though, is I suppose to call Nihilism what it is: intellectualized trauma.  I may have said this, but I like to think that when I repeat myself, I do so in slightly different ways.  I can’t remember all I write.


And I was thinking yesterday about the movie “Pan’s Labyrinth”, and the cruelty of the fascist father.  And I was pondering how the rebels–the Stalin backed Communists–would have had similar people emerge if they had won.  As it was, they kept torture chambers, and I’m sure assassinated what enemies they could. 


Then I got to thinking that the Fasces itself was an emblem of the Romans, who for their part would at times obliterate cities and even civilizations.  They would slaughter hundreds of thousands of people, and raze their buildings.  If my math is correct, they killed some 450,000 Carthaginians.


And I read this interesting passage from there: 

A day will come when sacred Troy shall perish,

And Priam and his people shall be slain.

I liked this article: http://pjmedia.com/andrewklavan/2015/08/30/the-first-rule-of-news-coverage/?singlepage=true

Had a white straight man killed a black gay man, released first-person tape of the shooting, and then unleashed a manifesto about being victimized by affirmative action and anti-religious bigotry from homosexuals, the media would never stop covering the story. They’d be eager to report that shooter’s motives with all the attendant politically correct hullaballoo about the racism and homophobia of the United States more broadly. We would hear about white supremacy (reprehensible Black Lives Matter leader Deray McKesson actually jumped the gun, thinking the shooter was white, and tweeted, “Whiteness will explain away nearly anything”).

And:

I’m not a Donald Trump supporter because I don’t think he represents my beliefs, but the success of his loud-mouthery should send a message to the mainstream news media. The message is this: You lie to us every day and we hate you for it. I’d like to add, Your dishonest narrative isn’t fooling anybody, but I’m sure it is. But not all the people, and not all of the time. 

The sufi opens his hands to the universe
and gives away each instant, free.
Unlike someone who begs on the street for money to survive,
a dervish begs to give you his life.

This is my favorite line of his.  I will note that what he is describing here is enlightened selfishness.  We can all only be selfish.  Even masochism is a type of selfishness.  The universe is what it is, and we are what we are.
And this is fine.

I have reached a point where I can imagine being deeply fulfilled and deeply happy without people.  Not that I need or want to do without people, but that I can do without them, and still be happy.  And it seems to me that this is where true love starts.  You have to be outside the system in order to truly see how it operates.  Put less clinically, the less needy I am, the less my need colors my perception.

Stepping into this world, though, frightens me.  In our culture, need is assumed.  In most cultures it is assumed.  Where I am entering is the monk on the mountain, and this scares me.  But I think it is going to make me a lot smarter, too, and even if I am jumping out into the air, even if I don’t personally know anyone who has made this transition, it is supportive air.  I have been seeing signs everywhere that it is time, but perhaps banally what caused me to post this was SMASHING my previous score on a pattern recognition game in Lumosity I have played perhaps 50 times.  A 50% improvement on a game where I was quite mature.

I feel happy, and it is true that being happy makes you smarter and more perceptive.  Whatever I have thought, whatever I have written, whatever I have done, has been only a small fraction of what I am capable of with the chains off.

In order to believe that Hillary did not knowingly break the law daily during her entire tenure at the State Department, one would have to believe that she had some method of segregating classified and unclassified emails and that she ONLY read the classified ones while she was in the office.  If she was working from home, this would mean that she could not read or act on anything classified.  This proposition is ludicrous.

I think any sane and honest person looking at this setup cannot fail to conclude 1) she knew what the law was; 2) she knew she was breaking it; 3) she only got away with because she was the highest ranking official in her Department, which actually makes it much more egregious; 4) she was hiding a significant amount of both illegal and unethical activity, in my view not limited to allowing foreign governments and corporation to buy favors. For example, it has long been rumored that a more covert part of the gun running operation from Benghazi to Syria, which has been more or less admitted now, was smuggling chemical weapons to the “rebels”–the people who have now exposed themselves as the Islamic radicals they largely obviously were even then–in order to conduct a false flag attack WHICH HAPPENED.  Do you all remember this?  That chemical weapons were used against the Syrian people and that Obama tried to use it as a casus belli?  Innocent people were massacred to get us into a war which had no bearing on our national security or interest, and at that fighting alongside jihadists.

If Hillary is not arrested and put in jail we can safely assume that some important part of our system has disintegrated.  We can assume justice is not blind, that a different set of rules applies to the power elite, and that we are being played as patsies, as Trump said.  Those same offenses in anyone else would have resulted in an immediate arrest.

But people in high offices are cowards.  How else to explain the Supreme Court’s craven refusal to visit the birth certificate issue, among other things?

http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/gop-primaries/252250-trump-im-winning-because-americans-are-tired-of-being-the

Trump argued he is surging in national polls because he represents the Tea Party supporters ignored by Democrats and betrayed by Republicans.

“I love the Tea Party,” Trump said. “You people have not been treated fairly. These are people who work hard and love their country, and then get beat up by the media. It’s disgusting.”

“At least I have a microphone and can fight back,” the outspoken billionaire added.

Trump indicated he envisions a much wider base for his campaign than traditional Republican voters next election cycle.

“You don’t know how big you are,” he told listeners. “The Tea Party has tremendous power. It’s Democrats, it is evangelicals, it is everybody.”

I think he is right. It’s not just Republicans that are angry.  Only perhaps 10-15% of the electorate is hard left, but all the rest never hear any alternative ideas.  They are shut out.  The Democrat run media censors them, and the Republicans either don’t protest or actively cooperate.  There is NO WAY that a debate where Donald Trump is present will not include the presentation of new ideas, and new ways of thinking, ways which coincide with what many, many people have been saying privately, but thought nobody else thought, or would even listen to.

Here’s the bumper sticker: PRESIDENT Donald Trump: get used to saying it.

I keep thinking of Lincoln’s comment on Grant.  All sorts of negatives were brought out about him, about his drinking, about his character, to which Lincolns responded “But he FIGHTS”.

We’ve had enough McClellan’s. 

There were a succession of generations before the present one who lived through the Cold War and the perennial fear of nuclear war, and who were also much more conscious, seemingly, of the banality and alienation of the present age.  Looking back, there seems to have been a large explosion of exploration and ideas in the 1960’s and 1970’s, and ever since things have gotten slower and duller.  Me, I came of age in the Reagan era.

I just watched Koyaanisqatsi again last night, and it brought back a flood of memories. It made me think too of “End of the World”, which I see was 1991.  That movie had a mood which captured that time well.  Even though we are far advanced in all the things which were feared back then, people seem trapped in banalities and distractions.  Perhaps they feel they have no choice.  It seems more likely that cowardice is becoming more and more common, even as our sense of the ability to control our collective destiny seems to shrink.

The people who might once have preoccupied themselves with the nuclear arms race–and frankly who ought to be equally or more concerned with nuclear proliferation, although of course that would fly in the face of their prejudices–now enforce speech codes and make college kids take classes whose essence is that you can’t have sex with drunk women, even if they ask for it, and even if they decide 9 months later–as at Columbia–that consensual drunk sex they both enjoyed was rape.  Rape, we learn, is a construct just like your gender.  Because nothing makes sense.  And why should it?  Sense is a construct, but the notion that sense is a construct is not.  That is true.  Really, really fucking true.

Even if one finds fault with the notion of unilateral, or even unverifiable bilateral nuclear disarmament, these were at least important issues, of existential importance to the continuance of global civilization.

Reagan’s success, and the continuing partial success of our partial free market system, has removed that issue, and largely those of profound, real poverty in the United States.

Globally, there are many important issues remaining, such as the status of Dalits in India, Islamic oppression of women, the oppressive Communist tyrannies in Cuba and North Korea, and the less oppressive tyrannies in China and Indochina, Zimbabwe, Venezuela and elsewhere, but the box leftist thinking puts around people–really the noose, which tightens slowly, suffocating first the capacity for independent thinking, and then the capacity for the consistent use of principle based reasoning–has made these issues invisible, and effective, reason based action impossible.

What mediocrity, and how dull, that young people’s minds can only be fired up by issues like gay marriage, transgenderism, and the right to bully anyone who fails to wear the emblem of political correctness on their left arm.

There are large worlds waiting to be discovered.  Even in the sciences, we have yet to become intelligent and reintegrate field theories.  We have yet to plausibly explain evolution.  We have yet to bring into mainstream science the ample and empirically impeccably well validated research in things like Remote Viewing, and precognition, and telekinesis.

I understand, but I do not accept, the reasons people offer for why they are forced to live in cages.  This need not be the end of time and freedom.  It may turn out that way, but we all had and to the point HAVE choices.

I don’t go to the doctor often.  I never get sick, and I’m overall healthy.  I just got my first physical in maybe 5 years.  Everything good, but it got me looking at my insurance.  My insurance premiums tripled, while my deductible went up $1,200.  This is lose/lose.  The ACA is literally sucking money away from me to people who vote Democrat for a living.

Fuck these people, and fuck the people who use them. I am the type of person who makes America work, and the more stress on us, the less goodies to go around.  That’s how the real world works.