And one can easily psychologize my posts from yesterday. Without saying ANYTHING about the truth value of what I posted, one can ask why I sought all that out. It was there two days ago, and a week ago and a year ago.
And the answer lies in this vacillation I am increasingly feeling between relaxed well being, and the fear that the other shoe is getting ready to drop. Back and forth, back and forth. One can start with fear and then justify it. There are plenty of ways to do this, from global warming/ecological devastation, to preoccupation with an Islamic Nuke/EMP. It’s all there for you to use, if you so choose. All of them will allow you to direct your life along that path of that fear. They can give meaning to you, if you choose to use it that way, but not deep meaning, as I would understand it.
What happens if you realize Global Warming is bullshit? Or that Iran has no intention of sacrificing itself in its crusade for vengeance on the world? What happens if sustained peace and prosperity break out?
On some level, to find peace one must accept death, daily death, a daily reckoning, a daily dance with life which you remember will never come again in exactly the same way, and accept. You accept the passing of what just was and will never be again. You accept in that act the value of the present moment.
Living well and dying well cannot be separated, in my view. Mourning cannot be separated from joy, freedom from constraint.
I am not saying anything new, but I feel it perhaps more than I normally do.