Here is my proposal: large segments of my emotional life are tied up in ideas which are intellectually incomprehensible to most people, and when I am seeking emotional intimacy, this is an important part of it. Since it is beyond most people, I can’t share it, and since I can’t share it, I find trying to interact with people on that level frustrating and it generally makes me feel worse. I would rather be greeted with a blank stare than 50% comprehension. That 50% just makes the failure feel worse, and it’s always 50% or less. I have emailed most of the Economics professors at most of the major universities in America and Ireland, and not received one answer I deemed intelligent. Granted, I have not received many answers at all, but those that I did receive confirmed my suspicion as to how the thought process went for whatever percentage of recipients actually read what I had to say.
This is why I do construction for a living. Nobody asks me any hard questions, and whatever interacting I do is on a basic level. It is a decent modus vivendi with my particular ontological joke.
Well, that and I love working with my hands, the free time it gets me, the self employment, and the travel. And if sitting is the new smoking, then I can do my regular smoking and feel less guilty. I’m not smoking twice.
Even when I was in my teens I fantasized about doing construction. I just had to figure out how to make way more than the Union guys without doing my time, and without joining a Union.