Freud said these were the secret to happiness, and I agree with him.
I work hard, but I have never felt like I come close to working WELL. I am spasmodic, all too often. I work hard, then rest, then work hard. Proper work is an interaction devoid of friction, of fear, of resentment, of worry. It is teasing out a long line, steadily. It is not relentless–you can rest–but it is in a condition of attached awareness, of connection, of affection.
Love, it seems to me, is over the long haul the same thing. Relationships, all relationships, are work. This is not a bad thing. Work is life. But how we do that work makes a huge difference.
To my mind, the acme of both love and work is reaching a point where you are so relaxed AND focused that you constantly have an overabundance of emotional and physical energy that more or less just flows out of you. Everyone you meet, you are building them. Every task you meet, you feel affection for.
This is an ideal, of course, but a good one.