It was storming last night–the rain was fierce at times, perhaps even those tumbling balls of energy I call demons were seeking shelter. Carlos Castaneda did say to keep your windows closed in certain weather.
What I feel is a spirit of fear, but it seems each of these things has a slightly different energy. It is not a recurring nightmare. It really feels like different life forms.
Fear, at root, is the spirit of contraction. It is what happens to a sensitive plant when you touch it, or bread dough that is rising when you punch it. A demon is a life form which has taken contraction to be the nature of life, of living.
Logically, then, goodness and spirituality come from expansion, from fearlessness, from that place where you are not brave because you have forgotten what it means to be afraid.
But here is my point: what if we DO live in a “demon haunted world”? What if God IS like a distant parent who neither cares if we live or if we die? Logically, if we are immortal beings, sooner or later we ought to be able to work things out. But in the meantime, what if our destiny is up to us? What if there are malevolent forces against which we must take up the arms of spiritual work? What if there is no cavalry which is going to rescue us, no plan which is inevitable?
What if this universe is saying: “sink or swim: it’s up to you”? For me, I feel this demon work is giving me the opportunity to figure out how to create light in darkness. I created a fraction of a small candle last night. I believe I can and will learn how to do better.
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In any event, how would you feel about such a world? Is it better, worse, or–unlikely–the same as one in which God does not exist at all? How about compared to a universe where you get one shot, and your success or failure are both eternally final? That world scares me. So too does the one without God, although I suppose I could learn to deal with it. In any event, I don’t see that as a necessity. The scientific evidence is on my side.