We all have problems. Some of us, though, carry things we cannot name or identify, that go back into that magical world of our childhood, into currents that formed us.
Without sharing all the details, I remember a dream from when I was very young, perhaps five, in which I was being crushed into a pulp.
When I look at Tom Waits, I see that same sort of dynamic. I know a few details of his life, but the broad outline is that he was presented with a psychological survival situation where it was sink or swim, create a new self, or be condemned to a life beyond his control.
I think many creative and adventurous people face something similar. Greg Lemonde, as an example, was apparently molested.
One can say that suffering is always bad, but I simply don’t agree. I don’t think this Earth, this world, is really designed for happiness. That is what what we call heaven is for. This place is for learning, and sometimes I think one of the best teachers is people trying to kill you physically or psychologically. In such a situation, you cannot remain still. You must either adapt–which includes learning how to adapt–or die.
I’m zeroing in on something. That is why the personal notes. Why I post in public is in the hope a flash of recognition may help someone else out there feel less alone.