In my view, most men and women would prefer traditional sex roles, if they did not feel they were being taken advantage of. Most women would like to stay home and raise children, and most men would like to have a woman taking care of the affairs of the house. Most women want a decisive man who knows what he wants and most men want a nurturing woman who will salve their wounds, and protect their masculine pride.
This is not all men and women, of course. What we have now is an uneasy dance, in which neither side can assume the other will play its role. Many women feel like they are taking care of overindulged children; or, on the contrary, that they are disposable. When men don’t act like men, women see no reason to act like women.
To be clear, my own vision is something like that of the chivalric ideal. Women want to be on pedestals, and they want to be equal. They also want the man to be in charge. This is confusing for men, but basically I think if men make decisions, take care of themselves, and treat women with respect, the women can fill in the gaps. That’s what they do. I know of few women who have not endured quite a bit of crap, even in long term relationships. That’s what women do, and they do it better and more naturally than men. That’s my view.
But the point of this post is this: self evidently, many would not agree with me. I am looking forward to what our social orders might look like in 20 years, and what seems obvious to me is both that people instinctively crave cultural clarity–something telling them who to be and what to do–and that they sometimes need to break away from that order.
Let us say that the above describes 80% of men and 70% of women. What of those who don’t like that order? Simple: they move somewhere else. The San Francisco’s of the world are not just acceptable in my view–they are NECESSARY. I want freedom for everyone. This includes the emotional intelligence to accept cultural difference, which would include accepting people’s right to disagree with your own lifestyle choices.