Here is the point I wanted to make: it is strangely soothing, and seems to make me feel more calm, less angry, than I think I otherwise would. Perhaps I am feeding the angry part of my gut.
But I think part of it is this: it is a self contained world, with rules, where you can gain a sense of absolute mastery. No matter how many times you fail, you get to go again, and success is inevitable over some time horizon. In this, of course, it is quite different from life.
Games are in some respects a retreat from life. But they are also a microcosm where you can gain or regain a sense of control that you have otherwise lost. You have to be able to feel that emotion SOMEWHERE in order to carry it out into the world.
Now, at my age, I should of course have felt mastery many times. In point of fact, I am very good at some things. But in real life you can NEVER shrink things small enough to feel consistently in control–especially where people are concerned. You can be skilled in dealing with people, and still misstep sometimes.
In a fantasy world, no harm is permanent, and growth is on-going.
For years I condemned violent video games. For years I said they were awful and hurting people’s ability to socialize and empathize. This may in fact be true for many people, particularly if they start playing hours daily at young ages.
But at my age, it is a welcome relief from the stresses of my day. My children mock me, but then they mock me for lots of things. I mock them. We all love one another, so it’s all in fun.
I just thought I might put this out there. I have not been posting because I am very much in some Primary Process–using that term loosely–work.