Trauma Walk

I am more or less inventing my own trauma therapy.  I have severe trust issues which are frequently exacerbated by being much smarter than the people wanting to give me therapy.  I see them, and I see that they are one chapter, if that, ahead of me, and that they are just following a set of instructions they have not fully understood.  I’m like: fuck that, I can figure it out before you do.

I continue to have issues with trauma related shaking, particularly at night when I am trying to sleep. If the NSA is eavesdropping somebody somewhere is saying “shit, I’d drink like a fish too”.

But I came up with an idea I like a great deal, and thought I would share for anyone reading who may have some degree of PTSD or other fuckedupness.

I call it a trauma walk, and what you do is walk very mindfully and slowly, while imagining that all your fears and terrors and negative emotions are flowing out of your feet in a stream into the earth, which is vast and receptive.

Simultaneously, and this is a bit of a challenge, you both connect with your senses with the scenery around you–it is good to do this in a park, or somewhere pretty–and conjure positive energy around your head and upper body.

So you have energy flowing continually out of, in my case, my lower belly, solar plexus, and an area just above my heart, and you are activating both sensory consciousness, and positive feelings, all while walking meditatively.

I’ve done this twice now, and gotten some very interesting results.  Now, I have been doing Kum Nye for some time, and apparently have some very developed powers of concentration, but shit it gives you something to try.  I think a core problem with PTSD is you can’t escape it, and you don’t know what to do with it.  I walked 2.4 miles, but obviously there are no limits.

I have a second prong to this attack that I have in mind, but can’t execute yet, and my intuition tells me there is a third prong, but I don’t know what it is.  Yet.  All in due time.