Those guys got it done, but they died in large numbers of Black Lung, and heart attacks, and a host of other things. But they were men. They persevered in the face of difficulty, in large measure for their families. They were loyal, diligent and committed.
But some of them came home and beat their wives and raped their daughters. Or sons. Or both. Maybe down in the mines they talked about it. It’s not much of a stretch, especially 100 years ago.
Toxic masculinity is many things, but mainly it is the suppression of kind emotions, of softness, and an overwillingness to express aggression, anger and violence. We all agree less violence is good. We can all agree more emotional intelligence is better.
But flip this. Take Nathan Lane in Birdcage. He is very certainly not suffering from toxic Masculinity. But he has a host of his own issues, doesn’t he? A psychological dependence on Pirin tablets? A tendency to become hysterical for no reason and on a dime?
In the same way you don’t kill yourself because you find evil in you, and you don’t burn down your society because it has committed crimes in the past, there is no reason to tear down or denigrate traditional values. Masculinity at its best is generous, open, honest, brave, loyal, and reliable.
Toxic Masculinity is the Shadow of Healthy Masculinity. It is very possible to value the latter while working on reducing and perhaps eventually largely eliminating the former.
And there is Toxic Femininity too. Just ask any woman how nasty and evil women can be and are to each other. This does not mean women at their best are not compassionate, warm, understanding, caring, kind, and persevering in a way most men never really understand.