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Therapy and healing, some disconnected thoughts in a continuum of color

I spoke within the past few weeks of dissociation being a feeling of being separated from the world of the living by a pane of glass.  I would like to extend this metaphor to assert that narcissism is a defense mechanism for the severely dissociated, one which turns that glass into a mirror, to reduce the pain of separation.  In effect, you become your own companion.  Life finds a way.

I would assert that principle, that life finds a way, would apply as well to actual psychopathy.  I would assert that psychopathy is an organism defaulting to a lower level of existence, to the reptilian brain, as a means of survival.  It only does this in the face of severe assaults, which would otherwise lead to suicide.  The violence, cruelty, and emotional lability and superficiality all act to blunt emotional pain, and thereby to keep that person alive.

Some years ago I made a study of serial killers.  They are, obviously, a popular topic, with creative serial killers being an almost sure-fire way of getting ratings on TV, and an audience in theaters.  Here is the thing: in actual fact, most of them are suicidal and most of them have to engage in some form of substance abuse to keep going.  Most of them also have organic brain damage, in areas responsible for impulse control.  I think it was Henry Lee Lucas who was thrown so hard against a wall, by his mother when he was a child, it knocked him out.

But life finds a way.  That person becomes a predator, an alpha, a user who is not used.  Patterns emerge which protect that person from killing themselves, or succumbing to depression caused by radical separation from the human race, and the possibility of peace and tranquility.

And societies can mirror these patterns at a macro-level.  When everyone feels uneasy, when everyone finds it impossible to fully relax, to fully trust the people around them, that social system develops an urgent need to find a scapegoat.  This is the root, as one glaringly obvious example, of Trump Derangement Syndrome.  It is certainly possible to dislike him personally, and disagree with his politics, while still recognizing that none of the horrific predictions made about him have come true, and that in many respects, on many fronts, he has been innovative, creative, and successful in leading this nation to prosperity and peace. 

But this necessary rage, this socially necessary rage, brought on by the depressing conformism of the Left, makes it more and more important, every year, for them to find a shared target for their personal violence.  This chronic anger is in fact an important survival mechanism, because most of these people otherwise feel impotent and disconnected.  They lack a church.  They lack a human family outside of their political engagements.  They lack a social order which will ALLOW them to deviate in any way from the defined boundaries.  This would make anyone angry, even if they don’t allow themselves to consciously admit it.  Your “friends” are always watching you, for signs of deviancy.  They are watching. They are always watching.  You–random inhabitant of Portland, Seattle, San Francisco and other places–are the subject of a totalitarian god, who lacks the slightest shred of mercy or forgiveness.  There is no coming back, once you are ejected.

And there is no coming back because the belonging is everything.  The conformity is everything.  There is no principle which would allow anyone to forgive.  All anyone can do is watch their disgraced friend drift away into the fog.