Then I watched myself eat. I tend to “wolf” down food. Think about that word for a moment.
And I watched World War Z the other night, where humans became like rabid animals, and bit one another.
We are animals. We are animals not so very different than the dogs and cats we keep in our homes. And I think all of us retain atavistic instincts.
In my case, I have discovered a great deal of residual tension in my gut, from unprocessed trauma. And I think the tension can go all the way from the mouth to the anus.
I think many people clench their jaws because they are biting back anger, and an unrecognized primal reaction to danger, that of biting.
We watch primal humans in that movie, and they pull their lips back like dogs, and for the same reason: they are protecting themselves and projecting aggression.
And I got to thinking about territoriality. Humans likely retain some instinctual need for home and tribe. We need to belong somewhere, and within some group. Modern rejections of xenophobia mean that we are all the In group, at least in theory, but our guts may be telling us something else.
Part of the Us/Them dynamic is that you have to feel you belong, intrinsically belong, somewhere. You feel at peace with you and yours, and whatever aggressions you may have are reserved for the Others.
But what if you never belong anywhere? Is it possible that leads to chronic low level activation of our territorial instincts? Could this be behind some of the obsession with zombies? Could the zombies represent some unexpressed part of a more primitive part of our nervous systems? I think there is some merit in this idea.
And I got to thinking about dining, one of life’s great pleasures. In dining, you merge, you blend these nervous systems. You combine the appetitive, visceral part, with the modern social part of your brain. It seems to me that pleasant, relaxed meals with other people with whom you feel connected is an important part of mental health.
That many families no longer eat together could also feed this disconnect between gut and sociality.
Peter Levine has an exercise in his book. Actually, he has a number. Looking this one up, I found some more I had marked but didn’t try. Here is Exercise 4:
The jaw is one of the places that most people carry considerable tension. There are reasons for this. The following exercise may serve to illuminate both reasons for this typical “holding pattern” and what may lie on the other side of it, as it dissolves.
At your next meal, or with a crisp apple in hand, take a good “aggressive” bite into a food that you desire. Really, take a good bite out of it and then begin chewing deliberately. Continue chewing, slowly, mindfully, until the food turns to liquid. As you do this, become aware of other sensations and reactions in your body. If you feel the urge to swallow, try to restrain it–to “play the edge” of feeling the urge to swallow, when it arises, and continue to focus on gently chewing. This may be difficult or uncomfortable, so be patient. Note any impulses you might have such as the urge to swallow, tear, vomit, or associations to things going on in your life–present or past. If reactions such as nausea or anxiety become too strong, please don’t push yourself. Make written notes of your reactions. Page 302
I tried this tonight, or what I remembered of it, and was able to develop a sort of conversation between my gut and the rest of my senses, and realized it is left out of most of what I do. It is a burden I carry, but don’t integrate, or haven ‘t yet.
And I got to thinking about anorexics. I could easily see trauma embedding in the gut and becoming a sort of alter ego, a Wolf self, a vicious self, and I could easily see a person as unconsciously wanting to attack and starve that wolf self as violent, angry, and vicious.
If this notion is correct, then the way to treat anorexics would be to have them make somatic contact with their guts. What would pop out would a lot of horrible shit–I use that word deliberately–but there would be an end.
A key problem with severe trauma is knowing where to start, how to start. There is no pleasant, easy way to deal with horror.
We have two brains. This is something that needs to be integrated into mainstream psychology.
This is a bit meandering, but fuck it. I think there are some good ideas here, possibly some REALLY good ideas, inspired by Levine’s excellent work.