291 this morning. No booze last night. Spent the night as usual half in this world and half somewhere else. I lead a strange life. In some important respects, I do live in a cave. As far as the degree of emotional support I get from others, and regular human interaction, it’s not that different. And this is not really a bad thing. I am finding resources within me which will are invaluable. How much more can you cherish human contact when you do not come to it with your own needs?
I will add: dreams are like nightly drug experiences. They are chaotic, uncontrolled, largely, but conscious to the extent you can remember them. I can control my dreams when I want, but I’ve learned to let go. What I know is not what I need to learn.