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The Next Day

As I think about it, perhaps I am underestimating the importance of comparing Trump to mass murderers in that Wisdom of Trauma movie.  The way it was done, it amounted to anchoring in feelings of revulsion, in some respects.  George Soros would have found his money well spent supporting that movie.  Sometimes the most lasting images are the most fleeting, and seemingly the most trivial.

Still, I think that movie is worth watching, but it amounts, for me, to one more betrayal by people who could and should know better.

I think the core problem with what I have termed the Sybaritic Left is that they lack the hardness to see the nastiness of the people in their midst.  In a confusing world, one filled with pain and suffering, they psychologically feel compelled to assume that SOMEONE means what they say, that their side, in using the rhetoric of compassion and caring, means at least SOME of it.  But at the top, the very top, they don’t.  They never have.  They are hard hearted bitches and bastards.  That in my view is the truth.

This is where I think my emotional pain tolerance comes in.  I certainly WANT to see positive things, but I am capable of foregoing false hopes.  I am capable of telling even truths I myself find horrific.  There is never any use in lying.

And to be honest I have NEVER really seen the Trump most people seem to see.  I don’t see the fake tan or tanning bed tan, or the hair, or the seeming arrogance and narcissism.  I don’t see any of that.  I see what I would argue is the reality, which is the ONE GUY in the whole fucking country who was willing to point out that Obama could not have gotten hired to work at Burger King with the birth certificate he provided.  This was obvious, indisputable.  But nobody had the balls to say it, other than Trump.

And I didn’t look at his speeches, or how he waved his hands, when he was in office.  I looked at what he DID, at the policies he enacted.  His record was not perfect, but he was also fighting corrupt RINO’s in Congress.  And his record was very good.

I look at Joe Biden, and in his case I can’t help but notice his mind is teetering on the brink of complete dissolution.  I notice he is actively importing people he does not know a fucking thing about and distributing them around the country.  He is not just tolerating people breaking into our country illegally, but more or less giving them chauffeured rides to States which don’t want them, to places where they are more likely to be a burden than a blessing.

And the Chinese bought him, obviously.  I think he is one of those rare creatures who owes damn near everybody something, but he owes them the most.  And why would he not be making provisions to share all of our best military technology with them?  Why could he not issues orders that military officers have to follow, in which Chinese agents are easily able to lay their hands on blueprints and computer models and even actual weapons?  Why not?  Ethically nothing would stop him, and he is the Commander in Chief.  If he is issuing orders to people like the Army Colonel I described in a previous post, they will RATIONALIZE it.  They will figure out how to make the unacceptable acceptable.  Because they themselves operate out of diligent and disciplined codes of ethics, it is easier for them to assume other people do as well, even though no one who dealt with the budding sociopath in kindergarten–and most of them have one–should be that naive.  Certainly not people entrusted with the safety of the United States.

So yes that hurt a bit seeing that in the midst of all that beautiful and healthy emotion they anchored an image of Trump as a dictator.

The truth is a jagged edge.  You have to be prepared to make rapid turns, and to be cut at any turn.

I still think that movie is worth watching, but my enthusiasm is a bit deflated.

I have, by the way, determined that I can’t go back to at least Holotropic Breathwork.  They went full in on Trump hatred, and I will never feel emotionally safe there again.  As I say, I have to ask myself what that dynamic is, and how real any of that ever was, if they are that emotionally blind.  Honest, open people, remain honest and open in all circumstances.

Here is the thing: if you look deeply, most would-be healers never REALLY complete their healing.  They just get a couple chapters ahead of the rest of us.  That’s all.

I have been, in my view, emotionally more intelligent than most of the therapists I’ve been to.  But I still carry that dull pain.  That pain is not one of unawareness, but it’s also not something I have been able to make go away.

But I am not going to position myself as an authority on anything until I do.  I will not sell anything, or offer anything in person, until I do.