I don’t think this is true. I think hate is giving a part of yourself to someone else as a means of avoiding personal responsibility for your emotions and life. And I think you come to NEED that person (that group, that idea, whatever the focus of your hate is) because they orient your world, they give you a sense of meaning.
What if Hitler had killed all the Jews? Would he not have found a new target? Would the violence have stopped? I don’t think so.
One sees relative peace in some Communist nations, like Cuba and North Korea, because everyone has been so abused and beaten that they live in constant fear, and this fear creates compliance. But this is a sort of violence as well. It is a hatred as well, one which never ends because it never CAN end. If it ended, the raison d’etre of the haters would be gone. That it doesn’t end is what makes Communism so attractive an ideology for people who are lost and alone. You never need fear an end to the violence. The war will never end, even if people stop fighting back.
I have felt hated all my life, and it occurs to me that hate is a RELATIONSHIP. It is a connection between in here and out there, between one person and another. But it is a compulsive, needy, driven connection, one filled with constant tension, fear and pain.
I see this now, and I see it fading, as it should.