It seems to me that after a certain age–I would think for sure by age 30–you have developed a way of being in the world which has flaws–you have a limp you cannot see–but which on balance is functional. And the longer you use it, the more comfortable it becomes.
In beginning any sport a good coach will make sure you learn good habits, and do not pick up any bad habits. As one famous example, John Wooden always ensured that his players knew how to put on socks properly to avoid getting blisters.
Life is like this too, but our parents themselves all too often don’t know what the good habits are, and which the bad. They, too, were thrown out there and made whatever accommodations they had to to survive. To the extent they teach at all, they teach what they know. Most maps are flawed.
And so growing means losing old friends. It means saying good bye not just to what held us back, but what held us up. This is a formidable obstacle, and needs to be recognized as such.