This, just after I decided to invent a new therapy for myself. I am talking with the fear generating part of myself (this sounds crazy, but anyone who does deep exploration can readily see that our personality, until it is fully integrated, has “parts”, and you can and should talk to them; this is easier done than conceptualized) and telling it that if it allows me to do anything or go anywhere without excessive fear, it is failing me. It is not doing its job. I am telling it to do its job.
I tell it, when I walk down this hallway, I want fear. And I have been able to trigger shaking. What I’ve noticed is the shaking builds, then subsides suddenly. It has a run time, and my guess, based in part on the notions I read about in Somatic Experiencing, is that you only need a finite amount of shaking. For severe trauma, it may be a lot, but if I can integrate it daily, I will make steady progress.
This makes me happy. There is an end in sight.