Taking Refuge

In my Kum Nye practice I am encouraged to “take refuge” in Kum Nye.  For someone who has felt exposed to a cold and hostile wind all his life, and used character armor and emotional deadening to deal with it, this sounded pretty good.

Being me, of course, I got to wondering what it means to “take refuge”.  I think of Bobbie Zimmerman’s (Bob Dylan’s naked name, perhaps?) song “Shelter from the Storm“.  I think of the Buddhist practice of taking refuge in the “3 Jewels”: The Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.”  And I don’t think it is taking it too far to say that the 12 Steps is a “taking refuge”.  It is taking refuge in what amounts to a Dharma and a Sangha.

And I think the question is this: what remains when you let your guard down?  What remains when you relax at the end of the day, open to all that you know is out there, even if only in principle, as you lie behind closed, locked doors in a safe place?  Is there something still there, watching over you kindly, like the loving mother you lacked?  Or something out there, standing guard against the forces of destruction, doubt and death in all its forms?  What will remain of the day before, in the day that comes after?  Will some patient force remain there, able and willing to help you rebuild what was torn apart and cast to the winds?

I feel here questions are enough.  I will leave it there.