I was feeling today that the essence of manliness is confidence. As I think I may have mentioned, when I did my second CrossFit certification, I was in a small group that had 3-4 SEAL’s in it, and the one thing that stood out to me was how relaxed and unworried they were about everything. Obviously, that sort of training constitutes an easy day, but I felt that was how they were most of the time. How else can you fall asleep waist deep in mud in a row of your fellow sailors, as they do in training? I can’t fall asleep in my bed with a fan on.
I would contrast that with the guys you see in musclehead gyms who are very self consciously trying to look and act tough. If you feel like you need to act tough, you probably aren’t. You are afraid. I think this inner fear drives a lot of bodybuilders, especially.
Learning deep relaxation is the first step to both healing and personal growth. Without it, you cannot go deep into anything. Your innermost self can never show itself.