But this whole thing is very interesting. Tonight, while driving in the dark in the rain, I really noticed how mutable our sense of self really is. Without realizing it, we transition countless times every day between different gestalts, different internal presentations.
And it occurred to me it would be an interesting meditation to try and bring them all together at once. I brought my angry self together with my compassionate self and my sad self. My driven self and my lazy self, and my average self. My sexual self and my asexual and my average self. All the contradictions, all the middles.
Who we seem to be, floating through the world, bears roughly the same relation as the color red, then blue, then yellow, then red, bear to pure white light, which is all the colors.
Behind this realization is a deep beauty, and a profound solace and source of joy. I can feel it, even if I am not there yet.