And even though I am coming to believe neurofeedback is the only way to do this systematically and completely, there is a cognitive element which cannot but help when added to the mix.
Specifically, it seems to me that it useful to believe, and in almost all cases certainly true, that our most fucked up behaviors–our eating to the point of being fat, our inconsistencies, our drinking, pot smoking, overwork, sexual addictions, etc–are all in place because some part of our nervous system thinks they are vitally important to our survival. They are absolutely necessary. They cannot be ended or avoided, in the long run. Our very lives depend on them.
Now, all of us dispute these subliminal claims. We say “I want to be skinny”, we say “booze is not really my friend”, we say “this much work just isn’t necessary”. But our insides think they know better. They always manipulate us back into those addictions.
Anything which calms us, in other words, even for a short time, comes to be seen as the simultaneous event of forgiveness, running and hiding, and fighting well. It is the aim for which our nervous system thinks it has been triggered to accomplish, and it will accomplish it over and over and over. It is immune to reason. It is much more primitive than that, phylogenetically. We share it with reptiles, or so I understand.
Our very survival depends on our addictions. This is what our nervous system is telling us. I really think this is true. I certainly think it is true in my own case.
Neurofeedback is a sort of magic wand which takes your fear away. And what I am reading, and what I feel in myself, is that that fear exists in a complex network of associations, which are not just a felt sense of self, but a felt sense of context.
To fully heal, you have to learn to reach for new things, for new reasons. Addiction was never about survival, but only about feeling survival was possible. To thrive, you have to go somewhere new.