I’m still processing, but the thought that keeps recurring is that he was like the Sean Penn character in “Mystic River”. He was a warning, a warning about emotional isolation, going it alone, doubting humanity, allowing fear to win. No one kills themselves who does not feel alone, not like that. His wife may well have been in the house, and found him. I know the lead singer for Boston was engaged to a woman, killed himself in a bathroom, and she found him. That is a horror I hope I never know.
At the end of the day suicide is a selfish act. He brought joy to millions, and that is worth something. Clearly, he never fully developed the ability to connect with others on a really deep, emotionally meaningful level. He was too good at deflecting intimacy.
But I think of the Kevin Bacon character in that same movie, who, confronted with the crime Sean Penn committed, struck by the senselessness of it all, opens himself up emotionally to the woman in his life, who could not speak because she never felt heard. That is how I remember it in any event. It’s been some years since I saw the movie.
Let this be for us a reminder, an opportunity: connection matters, people matter, love matters. Value those around you. Give hope a chance.