In an abusive family system, if you “wake up” and realize everything is wrong, that system will no longer have a place for you. You will react in ways which show that you’ve changed, and that will be unacceptable. Unless you have another place, this is an unmitigated disaster, or in event, as a child, it seems as such. It feels like a tidal wave which will overcome the world.
And this is how we learn to lie.
And one of the reasons I focus on Communism so much–in addition to the fact that these ideas represent clear and present existential threats to everything good we have built in this world–is that they so remind me of my own home. I recognize, from my own experience, the lies that Communists tell themselves, about their benevolence, their peacefulness, their tolerance. And I see that Communism consists almost precisely in turning your whole actual emotional world over to your Shadow, while learning to label it Light and Goodness. You dissociate spirit and mind, and focus on words only. Words, mere words, and lots of them. Countless words, all self serving and habitual lies.
But when you are trapped, the very terror and irrationality of the system can, if you can’t escape it, push you INTO it. This is the essence of brainwashing. You create an unbearable situation, and only one way out, which the nervous system has to take, or break completely.
But, again, ponder the minds, and the ideology, which would be CAPABLE of performing the science of turning human beings into trained, whipped dogs. This is pure evil, pure madness.