Moderates United

I just realized why I blog so much, and write so much generally: I am creating worlds within which the world makes sense.  I am creating artificial worlds, logical worlds, mathematical worlds, where A leads to B in an organic way, and everything interacts harmoniously.

This, as a sort of dissociative reaction to my own inner and continual turmoil.  The klaxon is always sounding, but I find peace in making rational arguments and saying what I have every reason to believe are intelligent things.  It softens everything.  It helps.  It is a balm of sorts.

And it is a driven balm.  I am not just tempted by these other worlds, but in no small measure regularly pushed into them.  I will find myself in existential doubt about some concrete task I need to complete–as indeed at this very moment–and find myself at the computer typing something or other.

I am getting very small, very momentary, fragments of relaxation.  And it feels really, really good.  My task at the present is figuring out how to integrate these moments into my overall emotional ecology as it has evolved under varied and often conflicting pressures.

It is an interesting task.

But I will comment generally that I think much of human life consists in this.  I think we NEED it, and that it is natural for all of us.  I push it too far, but that does not mean it has no place.

Rituals of all sorts are an alternative world.  Games–sports–are alternative worlds.  In a game the rules can be obeyed perfectly.  There is someone RIGHT THERE to enforce them.  Life is often not at all like that, and countless unpunished crimes of all sorts, from rudeness and thoughtlessness up to murder, happen every day.

Religion itself is a sort of alternative world too.  It consists in ideas about things we cannot in general perceive for ourselves.

The path home, though, consists in existing fully in the present, and learning to see what had been invisible, and feel what had existed in cold, cold ice.

And I might put it this way: our alternative worlds are always poor simulations of Reality.  We sense what is out there, but have a hard time finding our way back.  I don’t know why.  If we are honest, none of us REALLY know what all this is about, or where we are going.

This can be a source of terror, or curiosity and delight.  And no doubt the whole thing is much better if we relax, and stop trying to impose demands on a world which rarely accepts them, and almost never without hard work on our part.

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Why can’t we combine early treatment with the jabs?  Why not both?

I really feel like all of our brains have been fried like eggs, even those of us to whom it was obvious from the get-go this was a concocted global crime.

How did we abandon ANY effort at prophylaxis and immediate treatment?  What research has been allowed says that ANY treatment seems to improve outcomes.  Aspirin.  Vitamin D.  Intravenous C.  SOMETHING.

And why are the CDC and NIH not demanding people check their Vitamin D levels with the same intensity they are directing at mask wearing?  It breaks my heart that our kids are still being subjected to this insanity.  It’s criminal brutality.  Sadism.  Heartless.  Many somebodies deserve a swift kick in the balls.

And is anybody going to try Artemesinin?  As far as I can tell, what they sell on Amazon is the real thing, so getting that drug out would be vastly easier than HCQ or Ivermectin, if not Quercetin.  It might work better than Quercetin.  We don’t know.

What these spike protein injections are intended to do is teach the body how to infect itself.

This is more or less literally true.  It is muted by the claim that the mRNA only acts in some places and only for a really short time.  But we don’t really know that.  It’s a hunch, or a guess.  It is not the basis for infecting many billions of people with experimental nanobots, which is how I think of mRNA.

And ponder what was done with Ivermectin and HCQ.  KNOWN SAFE medicines were declared dangerous and forbidden, while known unknowns were papered over with these injections, which were loudly and generally declared PERFECTLY SAFE.

Nothing is perfectly safe.  We all know this.

They flipped it.  Do you see that?  The cheap and safe remedies were demonized and more or less kicked off the island–without any real reason for doing so ever existing at any level of policy–and the experimental stuff was substituted, despite the abject lack of data, and the impossibility of long term data.

This whole thing is mind boggling.  Every day I look at it and see bullshit and morons.  It’s not an intellectually hard place to reach: all you need to do is perform basic logical operations on known facts.  What is hard is the EMOTIONAL openness needed to fully process the scope of this criminal atrocity.

If you thought you had a friend in the government, well, you need to say good bye to that friend.  He is a lying, sadistic psychopath.

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Here is the thing: DOCTORS ARE SUPPOSED TO TREAT ILLNESSES.  That is how it is supposed to work.

How have so many bought into this idea that there is NOTHING that can be done in the early stages of COVID, and that the only way we can make it go away is participating in a global medical experiment, by taking a shot that does not even prevent us from getting COVID?

What do these shots supposedly do?  Make COVID less DANGEROUS.

But doesn’t TREATMENT do the same fucking thing?  And with TREATMENT you get natural immunity, which is BETTER than a shot.

Every day, every day, every day I look out at this world and see madness.  It’s in me, too, but I see my craziness, which means I’m better off than those who think they are nothing but rational, sober and “following the science”, when in reality they are manipulated peons in a large game being played with the lives of the people of the world.

I was buying some White Claw at a local gas station when this pickup pulled up with two scooters in the bed.  From somewhere in the bed of the truck a kid crawled out who had been invisible.

I said to him “were you wearing a seat belt young man”.  He gave me a brief deer in the headlights look, then I said “I’m just messing with you.  I don’t give a fuck.”  He said “it’s all good.  I had to be back there or the scooter would have fallen out.”

These are my kind of kids.  They are doing stupid boy shit, that in some very small number of cases gets them killed, but in the 99% plus number of cases hurts no one and no thing.  And they are not living like fucking cowards.

I did crap like that all the time when I was younger.  I remember contemplating for some time jumping down the main staircase in my home, which was pretty long, probably 25 steps or so.  I thought about it and thought about it, and finally, after deciding to put a beanbag chair (remember those?) at the bottom, I did it.

I sprained my ankle.  What I failed to consider was that the crap in the beanbag chair was distributed unevenly, so one ankle took the brunt of the impact.

Now, that stunt had been a practice for jumping off the roof.  After I limped around a bit for a month or two, I gave that idea up.

Why would you jump down a staircase, you may ask?  Why the fuck not, I would ask?  It’s cool.  It’s a good story.  I just wanted to see if I could do it.  And I did.  And I learned something.

A pretty high percentage of both the good and the bad interesting things done on Planet Earth are done by boys and men acting under some degree of testosterone.

To me, I see these neutered kids, these Soy Boys, and I just don’t see much LIFE in them.  They are unlikely to hurt anyone, but they are also unlikely to do much with their lives but whatever they are told to do.  That’s not right.  That’s not how this whole man thing is supposed to work.

Every year, it seems like the Karen’s of the world are doing their level best to remove all the fun, all the risk, and all the spontaneity from the world.  Yes, this is all part of a more or less literally demonic activity oriented around enslaving the world, but even the steps we can see in the direction of the plan we can’t, are something we need to object to.

Kids need to be able to do stupid shit.  So do men.  So do women, in increasing numbers.

And take this mask thing: you need people who don’t wear them for long periods of time, who can honestly report nothing bad happened.  No one they knew got seriously ill, and neither did they.  Same with circulating in general.  Personally, I NEVER STOPPED WORKING with groups of people, none of whom were wearing masks.  I never stopped hanging out in bars where no one was wearing masks.

And now, when I see people expressing fear, I wonder why.  I have been past this shit for a year or more.  But I went out there to see what would happen.  Nothing happened.  Columbus did not sail off the edge of the Earth, and Chuck Yeager–broken arm and all–proved that nothing bad happens when you break the sound barrier.

The world needs men.  And women need men.  They may pretend otherwise, but they feel a lot of doubt and uncertainty when they are with men who may just choose to hide behind THEM if the shit goes down.

The path of wisdom and goodness is always gradual improvement, never eradication, or radical hate.

Tech billionaires become billionaires because there is a lot of MONEY in tech, particularly if you can go public.

Donald Trump could make more in a week with his new project than he has made in most of the rest of his career.

And in the same sense that Michael Bloomberg felt no shame using his newspaper to push his (failed) candidacy, there is no reason Donald Trump could not leverage his platform in his bid for reelection, if our democracy (whatever is left of it) lasts that long.

What is certain is that there is a huge untapped market out there.

And my two cents with regard to whatever Facebook facsimile he creates, that he keep the convention of using real names.  It is much easier finding people that way, if they are a couple degrees of separation away.

It occurred to me that most public school systems exist, for all intents and purposes, as government sponsored monopolies.  Yes, the rich and those who can get scholarships can shop alternatives, in the form of private schools, but not most people.

And what do you expect from protected monopolies?  Poor quality and high prices.  And is that not exactly what we are seeing?  America spends vastly more per capita than most of the world, and despite that, our average testing scores have actually gone DOWN, in the past 50 years or so I recall reading somewhere.  The Department of Education has done literally nothing measurable, at least where K-12 is concerned.

School choice is about empowering average and poor people to break the monopoly.  And obviously the monopolists hate the idea.

But I really really think we need to start calling all opponents of School Choice racists and bigots and accusing them of wanting black folks to fail.  This is more or less literally true in my view, but it is also a good corrective to the ubiquitous and disingenuous use of those words on a daily basis by the Left.  If we start landing some shots by making factually true claims of racism as concerns them, that might change the landscape.  It may force them into another tactical lie, which would amount to a withdrawal or even retreat.  We need to deny them the words that have any effectiveness.

If rhetorical wars have landscapes, I suppose the generally received meaning of a word–like Justice–is one of the sorts of hills for which both sides are fighting.  There can be attack, but there can also be counter attack.  The surest way to lose is to accept defeat before it is actually inflicted on you.  And there are very few victors in any difficult contest who to do not learn the arts of persistence and tenacity and faith.

Maybe Calhoun’s rat utopia

(sorry for formatting) mostly applies to the RICH. They have plenty of food, every existent amusement, and time, as much of it as they want.

Here is an interesting idea, which I will take a moment to introduce.

Addiction is driven by dopamine, or seems to be. And what we think we know about our brains is they like balance. Homeostasis. If you get too much pleasure our brains feed us, in effect, pain.

In fact in one podcast I listened to last week a Stanford Professor suggested periodically doing things we fear or find unpleasant, in order to increase dopamine sensitivity. This, all from a purely neurological, hormonal, biochemical perspective.

Could people who have everything, who have danger, no problems, no accidents, no unrxprcted unpleasantness of any sort not come to PREFER pain? If you live in a world saturated with dopamine, coukd there not be a major opposing reaction?

And I have often called sadism “outsourced pain”. Here is my idea: sadists HURT WITH THEIR VICTIMS. They have not turned off their natural human instincts of kindness and empathy.

But this pain, besides making sadism and masochism inseparable, acts to reset dopamine in precisely the way true life challenges would.

Having no challenges and no difficulties, on this reading, would then intrinsically lead to cruelty.

We need to have problems to be happy. And EVERYTHING that happens can be used as a tool for growth.

I wake up every morning having to say to myself “I have not failed.  I have not failed.”

And this applies whether I get up at 4:15am, as I sometimes do, and if I get up at 9am as I (rarely) sometimes do.  It applies if I had a productive day the day before, or if I didn’t do shit but sleep off a hangover and watch a couple movies.

This is shame.  That is what it is.  Fear, shame, and anger all go together.  If you are traumatized you can pick one and specialize in it, but they all tag team one another.  As Bessel van der Kolk put it, it’s like an alarm you can’t turn off.  You just get to choose what sound it makes, which is to say which emanating element you choose to most focus on and empower to rule your life.

Now that I put it that way, might one assume that the thirst for authoritarianism that we are seeing is quite pervasive in America and elsewhere is related to a desire to live in permanent fear and shame, rather than face uncontrollable anger?  If true, one would predict continual rage to also be present in those wanting to be told what to do.  And of course, that IS what we see.

And I was thinking about this the other day: being confronted with true emotional coldness is an assault of sorts, and most of us live with this coldness everywhere.  Friendships are shallow.  Parents are detached.  The media we are addicted to is no more nourishing to the soul than Doritos are the body.

I propose most Americans, and many Europeans and others, are traumatized by alienating indifference.  They don’t know how to feel or name their own emotions, and thus they fail to connect with others as well.  This constitutes a sort of trauma, which does in fact lead to alterations in the limbic system.  It leads to rage, shame, and fear.

And don’t we see much of that in our popular culture?  The Squid game was equally suicide and homicide game.  And it was both game and deadly serious.  It was, I assume, fascinating in the way that a violent car wreck is, or a dead body seen anywhere.  We don’t see death.  We don’t see the realities of life.  We don’t express our violence directly.  There are no knife fights in the United States the way there stereotypically are in some Latin American nations.  We hold it in.  We soldier on in silence and solitude.  All that has consequences.

You work all day, doing work you don’t really want to do, working for an overpaid idiot, and having to fight traffic both ways.  And you want to see someone suffer and die when you get home.  And you can.  In endless variety.  But the effect is never lasting.  It never was even when human beings still sacrificed one another.

And here is the question that started this post, that led in unplanned directions: what sort of life do you live if you live in fear?

What I would propose is that a life lived in fear is no life at all.  All people, when they are afraid, are alike.  They are the same.  All nuance is gone.  All particularity of personality, all idiosyncrasy, everything that makes a person interesting, vivid, and memorable, disappears.

Maybe this is the link with masks and anonymity in our images of cult rites: everyone lives in fear, and thus they all have the same faces.  They are merely recognizing this in outward symbolism.

A sacrificial rite is merely an enactment socially of a violence everyone in that society feels inwardly.  Rather than a war of all against all (and yes, there is a whiff of Rene Girard in there), a victim is chosen, the sins of the collective attributed to it, and then it is murdered.

But this is inherently an imbalance.  This is trauma, spread widely, and unmanaged.  It is a patched together solution which barely meets the need, and is in most cases unstable.

What is the opposite of sacrifice?  Community.  True community consisting of individuated individuals, who are all capable of meeting their own emotional needs, and balancing their own personalities in ways which transcend any thirst for or need of violence.

Leftwing ideology is inherently a sacrificial culture.  It is cruel by design, not flaw.  It is the creed of the “faceless because they live in fear”.

I think there are some interesting ideas here.  I repeat myself often, and I repeat myself often, but slowly I learn better ways of putting things, and slightly better frames with which to see what I am looking at.