Categories
Uncategorized

War

War is an evil.  The only thing worse than it is avoiding a necessary war through cowardice or stupidity.  An autocracy is a war on the individual and his or her freedom, is it not?  Waging war on such a system is not wrong.

And there is beauty in effective war, in effective leadership, effective planning, diligent and effective execution.
Effectiveness in war is a hammer striking bone.  Sun Tzu says it is a stone on eggs.  What I feel is a hammer on bone, crushing it.  You do not deal your opponent a blow.  You do not cut them so they bleed.  You crush them.
I feel I have often been forced into dealing death in past lives.  All success in war should be mourned.  It is sad.  Some of those people most likely deserved to live.
But you do the job you have been dealt.  You perform your dharma, your duty.
I don’t know where I am going with this–nowhere really.  But I felt like saying it.
Being a warrior is better than being a passive, disengaged bystander.  But it is not the Summum Bonum.
Conquer your fear.  Conquer your sluggishness and addictions.  But find no comfort or love in hurting people.
Categories
Uncategorized

Insurance and Medicine

When I dropped my health insurance I was paying about $350/month as a middle aged, healthy man who is a sometimes smoker, and thus for the insurance companies, a smoker.

It occurs to me that you can pay for a lot of prophylactic health care for $350/month.  You can pay for a weekly massage, or Reiki session, or cranialsacral therapy, or flotation, or whatever makes you feel good.

You can take a raft of supplements daily.  I take quite a few.  Here is one that is off the beaten path, but which I really like: https://www.amazon.com/Mimis-Miracle-Minerals-Supplement-Supply/

As should not need to be pointed out, but which manifestly DOES need to be pointed out, health INSURANCE and health CARE are two different animals.  Totally different.

One is the people who pay your medical bills out of money you have already paid them–in a typical plan–or who if you are unlucky enough to come down with something not normal will pay your high bills, and who operate on an actuarial basis to make money.  They gamble a certain percentage of the population with get whatever, and cover that eventuality in their premiums.  That is true insurance.

Going to the hospital, or going to the doctor or Nurse Practitioner: that is health care.  But what is that?  It is checking to make sure things are working, which is useful, and which can be paid out easily on a cash basis even without insurance.

Then it is prescribing medicines, surgeries, and procedures of various sorts to fix things which are already broken in one way or another.

Here is my logic: given that the Democrats and Obama require insurance companies to accept preexisting conditions–or so I understand–I can wait to be “insured” until I have some major illness.  I don’t have to pay into the system before then.

And in the meantime, I can spend the money I would have wasted, entirely, since I am healthy, on supplements and preventive care.

I don’t want to get too crazy, so I’m still working out my particular regime, but I really like Tebonin, the gingko supplement, which really does seem to help with my tinnitus.  It seems to work even better with Alex Jones Brain Force Plus, I think he calls it.  I also like his turmeric supplement.  Add to this Mimi’s Minerals, and that’s my first thing in the morning regimen.  I take Glucosamine/Chondroitin and a multivitamin with my first meal.

With respect to Glucosamine, most of the studies find it does not reverse existing damage.  I haven’t seen any studies looking at if it prevents or reduces the damage in the first place, which seems likely to me.  And as far as multivitamins, people who take them fare slightly better over the long term.  Not a large effect, but we are talking statistics, and vitamins don’t cost much.

Bedtime I take a mini-aspirin (orange flavored) and usually a ZMA/melatonin.

I also use Essential Oils daily.  I have a row of them, numbered 1 to 14.  I use them to track the phases of the moon.  New Moon I take the first, mix it with some lotion, and rub it on my belly and arms.  Etc.  There is overlap at both ends, so I recent added two more, for a total of 16.

Again, it should not need to be said, but doctors are not the ones who keep you healthy.  They help ameliorate, particularly in this country, all the ways you’ve been fucking up, and know you’ve been fucking up.

Edit: I also take an antihistamine, a generic Zyrtec.

Today: 286, I remembered, and no alcohol.

Categories
Uncategorized

anger and sadness

It occurs to me that what Rachel Maddow has been selling is anti-depressants.  As long as the Left can remain angry, it can stave off the sadness it feels.

And this is an existential sadness.  It certainly was amplified, or thrown into the light of day by the election of Trump–which they were told daily was not possible for a bit over a year–but in the end wherever you see persistent anger, continual anger, daily anger, you can infer sadness underlying it.

Depression, as one example, no doubt infuses the Daily Cause.  I would hazard a guess Kosmo himself has been on and off anti-depressants for years.

Anyone who provides a daily reason for anger provides simultaneously an anti-depressant.  And given that we are as a nation seemingly addicted to outrage–do we not, far too often, look for the latest atrocity in our news feed, and feel gratified when it is there?–does out political climate AS A WHOLE not perhaps mask mass sadness, mass confusion, and mass depression?  The pharmaceutical and suicide numbers would bear that out.

Here is a principle: if you cannot find meaning outside of politics, then the resulting politics will necessarily drive you mad.

I proposed maybe ten years ago that Culture can be treated heuristically as consisting in four tasks: the creation and distribution of meaning, of truth, of power, and of wealth.  Broadly speaking, Philosophy (Philosaffineia), Science, Political “science” (craft may be a better word: political craftsmanship, with our Constitution perhaps constituting the most masterful example of the acme of the carpenters trade), and Economics.

Political craftsmanship was never intended to give people a reason to live.  It presupposes it.  It presupposes, in fact, MANY and plural reasons to live, at least in the Liberal way of ordering things.  The goal is to balance as harmoniously as possible many competing agendas, and the tendency ALL human beings have to become addicted to power.  The goal is to enact Power, which is to say a State of some form, but to also DISTRIBUTE the power, such that it is never quite within any one person or groups hands.

Now the idea that there are many valid purposes for life stems from the Philosophical/Philosaffineic System.  Logically, meaning comes before anything.  Why seek the Truth?  Why have science at all?  Why try to share power?  Why seek to make wealth distribution equal, or fair?

As I have said before, Socialism is a moral system seeking an economic system, but because what it needs to happen is not based on accurate human psychology, it necessary becomes a political and power system.  They have to tell people what they want, because the people aren’t as smart, they believe, as their aspiring masters.  That people naturally do not want masters in most cases where they have tasted the alternative, is something they wrongly assume will pass with time.

You really can’t separate Communism from Nihilism.  Historically, in Russia, the Nihilists BECAME the Communists.  They were the same people, with roughly the same beliefs.  Marx just gave them new words to paper over old feelings.

And that Nihilism in turn was a feeling, a feeling of disconnection, of hopelessness, of powerlessness.  It was, if not enabled, greatly amplified by the felt need, in attacking the Tsar, to also attack the God and Church which justified his power.  You create the power to change an abusive system on the one hand, but on the other you eliminate all genuine purpose in so doing.  If there is no God, why do you even care?  This is a question the philosophers and writers of the 19th and 20th century tried desperately to answer, and regarding which they largely failed.

Atheism, in my view, is an inherently unstable structure.  This is not to say there are not outstanding people who are atheists.  I firmly believe there are, and that there are many of them.  But when you are building thought structures, small flaws amplify over time, across generations, across nations.  An atheistic world would look much like Europe, where they are not having children, and have seemingly largely given up on the future.  Merkel has no children.  Macron has no children.  May has no children.  And in effect, by conscious policy or not, all three leaders seemingly are facilitating the Islamization of Europe.  As Mark Steyn pointed out some ten years ago now, demographics alone ensure Sharia in most of Europe within 20-30 years, and in my view much sooner, because the Europeans have largely given up on defending their own civilization. 

This is what atheism gets you: tired, passive, and unable to defend in the end any civilization based on any notion of God.

Categories
Uncategorized

That Smile

In my hypothetical self help/healing center, I would also like to have a picture of that South Park episode where Cartman forms a Christian rock group.  I would like the cover of their record on the wall, with them all looking pious and holy.

I noticed a long time ago that you seemingly can’t get ahead in the New Age world unless you have a certain kind of smile, like you know something everyone else doesn’t.  Being the cynic I am, most of the time when I see that smile I call bullshit.

I must be wrong some percentage of the time–there are obviously genuinely good people out there–but my gut tells me I am more right than wrong the overwhelming bulk of the time.

As I’ve said before, if I were to get one principle named after me it would the one stipulating that the closer one gets to the true CORE of the inner work they need to do, the more overpowering the need to teach others becomes.  There is this repulsion there that pushes people absolutely any direction but inward.

If I felt the need to act or look pious, it would be the end of my work.  I have no doubt of that whatever.

Here we go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrhJT98IoaQ

This is completely wrong.  It is unsuitable for any audience, and should not be watched or listened to by anyone.

You were warned!!!

Fuck that makes me laugh.

If you’re a pious Christian, please forgive me.

Categories
Uncategorized

True? Not True? Somewhat true? Open question?

The soldiers who win wars are not those who are confident in victory, but those who doubt victory but keep fighting anyway.

This morning I got in a hurry.  I forgot the teacup, drank 8 beers last night, and weighed 286.

This is of course dismal, but I really am making progress in my daily calm.  I am reacting to situations much, much better than I used to, and I am getting good about bringing my lunch to work.

Categories
Uncategorized

Notre Dame

A friend of mine pointed out an algorithm the Europeans have worked out to ferret out the truth within the propaganda their various Ministries of Information are churning out.  If a terror act is committed, and no name is provided, it’s a Muslim.  Because if it’s an ethnic white person, then they can use it to declaim “Islamophobia”, which is a term the Muslim Brotherhood created to help them fuck things up for all of us.

No cause has been forthcoming for Notre Dame. The experts comment that all the wiring was up to code, that precautions against fire were taken, and that they have no good hypothesis for how the fire started or how it spread so rapidly.

Ergo, if we run it through the NewSpeak bullshit detector: it was arson, most likely committed by Muslims.

A women who had been found with something like 9 gasoline canisters in her car near Notre Dame was sentenced the preceding Friday.  They claimed she wanted to detonate them, but in my understanding, that sort of attack usually also used nails–which are easily obtained–to increase casualties.  It is not hard to suspect her actual target was Notre Dame, and arson the intent.

Monday marked the beginning of the Easter Holy week.  It’s not hard to see dual symbolism there: one retribution for her jail sentence, and the other a clear intent to mar a Christian holiday.

As many have commented, the Globalists–and it’s not hard to put names to most of these people, with Macron and Merkel clearly included–seem to be using 1984 as a template.

Categories
Uncategorized

Comment

You know, Captain America got everything he wanted, and Tony Stark lost everything.

Comic Kismet.

I already feel like I would like to watch that movie again.  There were a bunch of fucking kids chattering that kept distracting me.  Yes, it is a comic book movie, but I take my made-up myths somewhat seriously.

I was watching them, though, and wondering again how any fucking intelligence at all survives when our old people die.  The young have no impulse control.  They have grown up consuming media nearly full time.  They don’t know anything.  They possess no capacity for critical thinking, even in their own interest, I suspect.  They are simultaneously stupid in all the ways that matter, and utterly convinced of their own righteousness (because that has been the goal of all the propaganda they have been exposed to, starting somewhere around kindergarten.)

Categories
Uncategorized

End game

This was a bittersweet ending, was it not?  With Cap in the past, of course, we can perhaps expect some 1950’s Cap, which we saw in the comics, along with Agent Carter.  That’s not an unreasonable expectation.  Certainly it is possible.

But not this team, like this.

It’s only a movie, but it really speaks to impermanence.  It’s a funny thing: we are creating our future as we roll along, but we are also creating our past in terms of what we remember, what stays with us.  It’s not all there.  We don’t know what’s going to happen, but we also can’t fully remember what HAS happened.  It’s all cosmic tragicomedy.

I was laying in bed last night, just feeling Life, and found myself sobbing.  All humans wrestle with this strange condition, where people come and go, most of us do not get enough love, we grow old simply by not dying, and where we buy what confidence we have through faith alone, often without realizing we have done so.

But I feel this energy ebbing and flowing, and when it comes to me, I feel that all moments can be magical.  There is a sort alchemical reaction possible which makes all of this OK, and even beautiful.  Why, this energy asks, would you ever want it any other way?  I am perhaps influenced here by Vonnegut’s “so it goes”, but even without fatalism aging, sickness and death remain.  We do not have to belief in a deterministic universe to understand that these await all of us.

There is something else, though.  Our feelings really constitute our side of our conscious reaction with What Is.  If they can learn to deal with a higher or different What Is, then they will change and adapt to that new reality.  This is perhaps the core task of what we call spirituality.

I was fixing my lunch just now and wondering if Buddhism involves “clinging to the Present”.  Is that a useful word for a religion which otherwise denounces attachment?  If you cling to the present, are you not abandoning your clinging to the past and future? 

I don’t know.  I really don’t know.  My work continues.

Categories
Uncategorized

Dreams

I dreamed I was a baby last night, with the feelings I felt back then (bad).  I also dreamed several people I know who are very grumpy were participating in Holotropic breathwork.  I think my legs activated, my right for a good long while, but overall it wasn’t bad.  Not bad at all by my standards.

285 this morning.  I remembered, and one beer.

Categories
Uncategorized

Useful lies

It occurs to me that part of personal growth involves the ability to grow beyond useful lies.  There are times when we have to lie to ourselves.  We have to lie about many things.  I won’t make a list, since those who know what I am talking about can make their own.

I will comment though that I think admitting you cannot control something is often the first step to controlling it.  This is, if memory serves, the first Step of the 12 Steps (Ten Steps?  I’ve only been to one meeting.  They gave me the book, but I couldn’t get over how many people were crying inside over their lost friend).

The goal is gain control through truth telling.  Me, I feel rage and fear.  They do not originate with me.  They were planted there long before I could speak, and I have spent my life pretending they did not exist–or perhaps at times that I had them under control, that I had and have my emotions under control.

And I will comment too, as I have periodically, that none of my political ideas are going to change, I don’t think.  I have reasoned my way into them.  They are not dependent on emotional noise.  What I expect to change is my skill in persuasion, and my patience when dealing with people who I view as idiots.  Patience wins, where intelligence alone fails.  That might make a good motto.

I’m reading “Slaughterhouse Five” and finding it therapeutic.  As I remember commenting some time ago, perhaps a year or two ago (who knows: maybe I recycle this idea at precisely 276 day intervals and have for the past ten years), small doses of pessimism and even nihilism can be therapeutic.

I was actually daydreaming today about a clinic filled with slogans in groups of three, that people could pick from.  1) Winners never quit; quitters never win; 2) Winning is overrated and a lot of work; focus on fun; 3) Most winners are assholes and I’m sick of sucking up to them.  Something like that.  I could come up with better triplets, but that whole notion seems vaguely Vonnegutian.  Vaughn uh GOOSHUN.  Shit man, if people are thinking it, they trust you more if they see it on the wall.  If you can’t meet people where they are, then where are you, and why are you pretending to be somewhere else?

You know, humor and curiosity are linked in some way I will have to smoke on.  I will need to buy some smokes first.  I love my cheap cigars. 

My world is getting better, and it feels really, really weird.