You know, it is one thing to posit that progress and eventual relative victory–understood I suppose as a recognizable qualitative, quantum leap from one state to another–is possible, and another to actually pursue it.
Nothing in life happens as well without a plan as with it. Not in the long run. Your plan might be to be spontaneous. That is still a plan, a default judgement.
For those of us thick with trauma, the plan needs to be simple. Complexity is lost when every day feels like a fight, and when most of life feels like an attack. It is like an acquaintance of mine Tony Blauer teaches: your body, and your emotions, have a mind of their own. You can count on it. Learn to lean into what is going to happen anyway, and form your plan from there.
I have over time suggested many possibilities. Absent anything else, I think yoga, a really solid yoga practice done daily, is about as simple a plan as I know. Emotions will come up. Let them.
And one of the real long term virtues of Kum Nye practice is that over time you learn to feel your body, feel what you are feeling, and learn to embrace and allow it. I can go months without actually sitting on my meditation cushion and still do this. Once you get the idea, it stays permanently, and even when I get pulled into abstraction, I feel that too.
I have some specific things I have been doing I may share another day. I keep trying to improve my waking and evening routines.
What I have discovered is that the sex pattern holds generally. What I mean by that is that in sex first your sympathetic nervous system is aroused–that is what gets women wet and men hard–and then in orgasm it is the parasympathetic. Tension followed by relaxation is a natural pattern. The contrast teaches you something, if you pay attention.
As I say, I will share specifics at some point.