The world is in motion. It may appear locked down, but emotions are flowing like a river in subterranean caves. They are with me, but usually there is a parallelism of sorts: I see in the world what is present in me, not as projection, but as an opened visual capacity.
I have a strange pivot I need to do. I have alluded to it on several occasions. It is my job, now, as I see it, to figure out, at this moment, in the coming months, how to be happy.
I was told last week by what I will call a psychic that I was born to figure out how to transmute pain. I would say it was the larger problem of the genesis and propagation of evil, but ultimately evil is pain–pain unprocessed, untransmuted, made transcendent, unavoidable, and a matter of existential need and addiction.
Satanism and Leftism both consist mainly in the creed that pain is the only reality in the world, and that it cannot be redeemed, and must be embraced and made the purpose and subject of focus and following life.
This is my long winded way of saying, again, that my gut instinct, and some higher thing I might call intuition, keeps telling me the best way for ME to fight this battle for the soul of the world is to learn to tap into higher energies. My best work could literally consist in learning how to thoroughly enrapture myself walking in the park, losing more weight, getting in great physical condition, and cooking a lot more.
It’s an odd irony, that I would get–as I see it, although I have regularly received outside validation–so good at debating, at seeing the hidden, at forming words and slogans, at making “points”, broadly understood, then at a moment of maximum need be told to stop, to step back, to let go. It feels a bit cruel, but the work involves going towards the pleasant, the high, the elevated, the good, so it really isn’t.
When you live with a certain amount of misery for long enough, the idea of kindness, of peace and rest, feels cruel. It must be a joke, you think. Don’t tease me.
But that is my work. That is what I have to do. As is likely obvious enough, I tend to think of myself as a soldier, and if you have competent, well meaning leadership, you follow orders, so I am going to try.
There is too much violence in the world, too much enmity. At my best, I still tend to add to it. Anyone incapable of seeing the problem with Kamala Harris as President–which is what we are talking about–cannot hear the thunder or see the lightning. They have passed beyond human understanding, and live in some dark, dank cave as troglodytes immune to human reason, and past summoning to return to the light, at least for now.
The hope is that most Americans are still sane enough, and that Trump can and will prevent enough cheating that he can win, get us four more years, and that that condition will find me ready to begin to do the work I believe I was born to do.
So if I post less, that is success.