To be capable of deep love for people who suffer deeply, you must be capable both of suffering deeply, and TURNING IT AROUND. Pace, then lead. That is basic NLP. No wave is too large for the brave. Let it break on you, then counterattack.
And I think to myself that if goodness is taking pleasure from the happiness of others, service of the sort most religions call for is really an act which brings pleasure. We assume, mistakenly, that the deepest pleasures are those we generate for ourselves and ourselves alone. But why do we think and feel this? Why can’t I be HAPPIER, say, that my kid is happy, than in any other activity I can think of?
Nothing in this universe demands of us abject servitude, or unrelenting self abnegation. These are human constructions, derived from sadists and other malefactors.
The equation is simple: give up the easy and immediate for the harder but much, much better and longer lasting.
Goodness of this sort is not different in principle from the test sometimes given to 4 year olds, in which they are offered one cookie now, or two cookies in an hour. Those who held out for two cookies scored very substantially better on the SAT 13 years or so later, and were better adjusted.
Ayn Rand’s mother made a similar proposition to her when she was about 3. She had to give up a favorite doll for a year, if memory serves, to get 2 a year later. Rand chose to do this, but her mother forgot about it, and had thrown away her doll. That in my view is the ultimate source of Atlas Shrugged.
Life is endlessly fascinating. How much we can see if we only look.
I am happy at this moment, and wish you the same. It is quite possible for all of us.