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Love

I rarely use this word, quite consciously.  Its meaning has been overpowered by overuse.

Still.. . .

I spent the last week doing (W)holotropic breathwork, and came back with some little tingle in me that might be love.  I look at people, and I see the scars, the hidden wounds, the worries, uncertainties, constrictions of motion.  If I do this long enough, I think I will come very close to being able to read people’s minds, without using psychic abilities at all.

And I can look people in the eye and say without words “your wounds do not scare me.”  Many people–particularly very wounded people, of whom I met a few this week–have throughout their lives seen fear in people’s eyes when they tried to share their experience.  This song expresses this nicely, and the video compliments this well: Lyle Lovett’s “Pontiac” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEk7_Y4JRA0  (I will add, that his wife won’t stop talking because his eyes make her uncomfortable, but neither of them know what to do about it.  Such is the human condition.)

I rarely quote Gandhi either.  It is cliche.  I put few people on pedestals.  Yet: “be the change you want to see in the world”.  Do you need comforting?  Do you feel sad?  Then comfort others, and be happy.  They are like you.  No different.  The chain must be broken.  The cross must be borne.

Politically–one of my preferred means of expressing what might be termed love–it seems to me that we have developed a very vocal, engaged group of conservatives.  Even on the HuffPo, there is quite a bit of dissent.  I see many well reasoned, factually congruent arguments across the internet, which did not seem to be the case 4 years ago.  There is no reason to believe it will subside.  How can it?  All the arguments are valid, and things are getting worse.  Love for our children, and respect for those who came before dictates a fight.

For me personally though, it seems like my highest and best use is in writing, which in turn necessitates reading.  I want to write a book on my economic plan, and I want to develop a church, both of which will take time that is probably NOT better spent arguing with fools on the internet, or even typing here.  I lack discipline, so I may well continue to post here often, but my plan is to try to redirect that energy into the less immediately satisfying task of reading books.

I do also have a plan to start writing professors of biology and economics, which I will deal with in the next post for simplicity.