First and foremost, I am going to hypothesize that video games are a method for dealing with anxiety by consciously invoking it, then creating situations of mastery. The fight or flight response gives us the power/fear dichotomy, does it not? I think this seems reasonable.
As Lara, I kept getting killed in really unpleasant ways, which made me mad, which made me go again. As anyone who has played video games can readily attest, some levels are just damn hard, and you have to do them repeatedly, at least if you are an old geezer like me. I started playing about 5pm, after pouring myself some tea and feeding my dog, and I awoke from my spell about midnight. I don’t think I walked the dog, and the tea was cold.
That is a powerful focus.
What I want to say about it, though, is it is not play. It is not the reconciliation of the social instinct with the hunter instinct. It both creates and provides the solution for acute anxiety. This is why it is so addictive. When you finally get through a level, it is a huge relief, but then you want to do it again. And again. It fills you with energy, which is why I think I’m not that sleepy, despite having something less than 2 hours of sleep.
But what you are NOT doing is learning to deal with the anxieties of real life in an appropriate way. I was feeling very keenly the passage of time yesterday. I was clearing out old clothes and art projects and the like from my kids room, and going down memory lane. I am getting older. So too are they. Their lives are in front of them. This is a common enough happening for people of my certain age.
And it occurs to me that NOBODY wants to do this mourning, wants to deal with this change, but it is a fact of life. It is a fact of life if we believe in God and if we don’t. It is a fact of life if we have a fundamentally optimistic mindset, or if we are pessimists. The former in both cases make it easier, but not effortless.
We have to–I have to–throw myself in the stream of life and let it carry me along. I have to accept it. This is my task. And what I did was short circuit that process somewhat yesterday. I have had more than my share of sadness and change and bereavement. Much, much more. But that does not change the facts of the matter. Happiness is courage, true courage.
I can’t say or tell where all these video games are leading, what the long term effects of social isolation and the weird sexual expressions that pornography (that is one addiction that has never tempted me) likely causes will be.
What I know is that the future exists in the future, and that I am capable of living in the moment contentedly and in peace, and can commit myself to doing what I can to build a better future, knowing that I may fail–we all may fail–but waiting to feel that grief, to feel that anxiety, until it actually comes.
As far as me playing these games, I am going to have to ponder if I want this energy in my life. In small doses, these games are supposedly good for your brain, but me being me, I am going to periodically binge on them, and I have to wonder if Lumosity isn’t sufficient. Of course, I have the Kinect and some dance games. That might be fun. It would be at least more social.