I didn’t know this Incel–involuntary celibate, aka man who can’t get laid–was a thing. But I have been saying for some time that in my view much Islamic terrorism comes from these people. I have had Arab friends, and the math is that if the rich can have four wives–and an unlimited number of concubines–then a lot of young men will never get married. I know I’ve discussed this somewhere (this theme of repeating myself recurs because I try not to be repetitive, but am quite sure I fail often; even this theme is recurrent, but likely not more than once a year or two).
I suspect a problem with a lot of “Incels” in the West is that they view sex as an end. Porn makes this inevitable, as well as making frustration much harder to bear. No woman wants to be viewed as an end, purely, unless she is having fantasies of being a slut. Ironically, the way to get laid is to stop trying to get laid. Tantalus and his solution, again.
My personal view is that if prostitution were legal everywhere, a lot of social problems would be eased. Young men would not be so sexually frustrated, and I think many marriages could be saved if men had outlets for just a few things their wives would not do. All men age in their bodies, but most of us look at 25 year olds as if we had not. Propriety keeps most of us from even pretending we have a chance–although we do have a bar around here where a 23 year old was hitting on me hard the one and only time I went there. I just couldn’t wrap my brain around that. Come to think of it, that happened another place too, but I’m digressing. I guess I’m doing that thing where I assess my desirability, and it seems to be OK, even if I’m still crazy.
I have even thought that rather than make this institution peripheral, in the red light district, that we place it in the center of our society, with something like sacred prostitutes, in temples built to the purpose, that we learn to make sex an act of worship of some sort, that we elevate it. We all have sexual urges. This is human, and it is ridiculous to deny it. And these urges, when satisfied, make us happier, more relaxed, healthier, and more creative and generous. This, too, is not to be denied, at least among reasonably psychologically healthy people.
Just as self restraint can be taken too far,, though, so too can license. Everything good in this world depends on psychological health, which I think in turn depends on accurate and useful spiritual ideas. The men who visit such a temple may drive their wives mad. So we get rid of wives, but then insane jealousies come out in men over the prostitutes. Etc.
All of us are alone, in the end, but in a universe which is not fundamentally hostile. And we can build islands wherever we choose, islands of people, islands of love, islands of joy, islands of peace.
I’m rambling, but thought I would comment on this.
I will add that reading Bukowski brings out the obscene in me–I am mimetic by nature– but I don’t think anyone reading him can fail to appreciate he spoke many truths which needed speaking.