I’m actually serious this time

So I was doing my Kum Nye practice, and a vision of a spirit guide–a seated Incan–came to me.  I felt like I had been his pupil in another life long ago, and felt ashamed.  I told him “I know I don’t look so good”.  He said “you look like somebody cut you up, ground you up, ate you, and shit you out.”  We both laughed for a while at that. 

Now, this sort of thing is not for everyone–spirit guides, the spiritual generally, past lives, intuition of a non-physical variety–but I personally take it seriously.

I really feel I am on the right track.

If you can find a teacher willing to call you a fucking moron, then that’s a good thing.  Firstly, it is certainly true, but secondly, they would not bother speaking to you if there was no hope.

But I wanted to say, once, and then no more, that if this blog is actually meaningful and important for anyone, speak up.  As far as I know for sure, I have zero readers.  I have no followers at all.  It has long felt like I had readers, but it was just a sense, and I have come to the time in my life where I start telling the truth about everything.  No more bullshit.  No more comforting illusions.  No more little lies.

So I’m actually serious about the May 1 thing.  If I am providing any measure of comfort to anyone, speak now, or I’m going dark for six months or so.

I drew the Devil Tarot by the way.  Perfect.  That is exactly where I want to go: all the darkness, everything hidden, everything which gains power only through fear, rigidity and ignorance.