and worth sharing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHHPNMIK-fY
It’s the thoughts and reflections of someone a lot like me, and maybe you too.
I was thinking about mustard seeds today. They don’t seek perfection, but they don’t delay either. It is enough to try. Blossoms come from starts, and starts happen naturally if they are not killed at conception.
It is the same thing with the parable of the talents. If we eliminate the analogy of money, then every possible investment you could make with whatever you were born with is sufficient. Just show up. Don’t bury yourself, or hide. Even if you are terrible, even if you feel like a loser, a sucker, a failure, just keep showing up. That is the power of faith. That is all Life asks, in my view, and the difference between a race run a few steps at a time, and one not run at all, becomes very large over time.
Don’t sit your life out. It’s OK to be a fuckup. Just admit that’s where you are, then slowly start trying to unfuck yourself. It may take a very, very long time, and it may not be fully possible. That’s still doing it right. That’s still showing up.
Edit: looking her up, it appears she has written a number of books, some of which sold quite well.
Reading reviews, it seems like her voice may have become more diluted and perhaps even contradictory the more she wrote. It’s very hard to sustain a voice which satisfies people’s expectations. You speak out, initially, from a deep place, from a need. But if people HEAR you, and praise you, then they become a part of your internal conversation, and this is ESPECIALLY true if you find yourself making money with your words.
I see this. I feel this. This is one of the main reasons I would really never like to be a published author. I did try at one point, and even went to a writer’s conference in New York where we presented to publishers.
But you know, there are smart words everywhere. Most people can’t hear them. The pace of our lives, the Time which stands over us like an angry Death with a scythe, makes it hard to think, to feel, to process. No words will fix that.
And in my own case, I am also still mid-river. I don’t want to talk about feeling in process, or feeling confused and messy. I want to talk about having found a path through the world to a place which consistently feels good. That is my personal mission. In my view, that is why I am here. I certainly am confused with everyone else, but I don’t want to stay that way.
That is my thing, though, and not for most people. I think it is my burden and my honor to have volunteered to work harder and longer than most people can.