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Grand Budapest Hotel

Watched this movie tonight.  At the end, listening to the balalaikas, I was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness and nostalgia.  I walked into the theater feeling a bit sad, so small wonder it ended that way.  I like to sit close to the front, so nobody can see me if I cry.

[You know that old cliche–I laughed, I cried?  That is emotional house-keeping, and to be pursued and valued].

Anyway, I decided this movie, in the end, was about nobility and love.  All three main characters, M. Gustave, Mustapha, and Agatha, are alone in the world.  We never learn Gustave’s story, but one can reliably infer betrayal, sadness, and perseverance.

What all learn, is to love work, and to love others.  These are the only loves that matter.  All three forge identities, selves, and are rewarded, for some period of time, with a sense of integrity, dignity, decency, and belonging that notably were absent from the rich people with whom they interacted.

Gustave died for Mustapha.  That is nobility.

Anyway, I just started bawling.  I had to wait until everyone left, then take a different exit and put my sunglasses on immediately.  It is still triggering me now.  And that is a great thing, a wonderful thing.  Crying makes you stronger.  I am very tough, physically, and emotionally, but I want something more.  There is a current of energy I want flowing through me, and the only way I can bring it in is to learn to interact with, dance with, make friends with, all emotions.

And I felt, for a brief period, an overwhelming sense of compassion.  And I thought that you cannot, cannot, cannot be usefully compassionate if you are afraid of the pain and suffering you see around you, and in you.

As I whine about, seemingly constantly, being nice and being compassionate are two different things.  When Mustapha said his family had been killed, he did not offer him sympathy: he offered him friendship.  That is how you do it.  And compassion, often, consists in watching people struggle, watching them fight their own fights, and hoping they win.