What Goodness is NOT is a fixed set of rules which must be slavishly conformed to in all circumstances, for example being nice, being non-violent, and being loving. Love, as I have said often, is a primary value, but if taken to absolute extremes it becomes stupid.
I have seen from time to time pacifists ask themselves if they would have killed Hitler or Lenin if they would have both known the evil they intended and had the chance to to so. As I have commented from time to time this is fundamentally a selfish attitude. They prefer avoiding the pain of guilt for killing one person to the guilt they only would not feel, for allowing the murder of hundreds of millions, through self deception.
Many people who call themselves Good, who claim to be pursuing a spiritual path are like this: they deceive themselves as to the TRUE consequences of their actions. They are irresponsible children. You cannot simultaneously genuinely grow and lie to yourself at the same time. Your lies will bind you to an old order.
I am an asshole sometimes. I am extremely generous sometimes. But in all cases I do my best to be honest with myself. I cannot of course know in this lifetime with complete certainly how honest I have been, but I can say that I have done my best to polish the glasses I look through.