Giving voice to my inner terrorist

Kum Nye—or in this case more accurately the habits of perception which are taught and cultivated in Kum Nye—is a bit like laying traps and waiting to see what comes out. That part of me which I might term my inner terrorist, because it inflicts anxiety, inconsistency, and pain on me—requires such a set up. It will not easily reveal itself. It requires sustained patience, waiting, and alertness.

And what I “catch” are glimpses, brief images and sensations, then they are gone.

And the goal is not to kill it. It is something which had a time and a place. It was needed at one time. It no doubt saved my life at one time.

But it exists and operates in the night. It comes and goes on the darkness of my unconscious, and, trying to solve again an antique problem of long ago, it causes me pain it never sees.

One therapist might speak of a complex. Another, of Condensed Experience (Stan Grof term). Another, unreconciled and unintegrated trauma. I like the term part, which the NLP people use.

Our inner landscape really IS that in important ways. We have a default background, into which thoughts and decisions and feelings and images and sensations come and go, as in a wood or a savannah.

And the goal is to maintain a degree of wildness, of spontaneity. But with light, awareness. Let what works work in the open. Let all work for harmony and beauty.