Most people nowadays are incapable of taking anything seriously: not their own lives, not those of others.
But they also mentioned a robust “fetish” club scene in Berlin. Here is one sample link: http://bear-rikers-berlin.de/berlins-bdsm-scene/
At the risk of stating the obvious, Berlin was the epicenter of the Nazis, and much of the sexual and emotional energy that gave rise to the Nazis is apparently still there. Dire Straits had a song about it 25 years ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neBIzWZDaP4 He talks about SS caps, and S & M for fun.
What I am feeling is that my gut instincts are correct. There are groups of evil in this world. There are people who can find NO WAY OUT–for his part, Sartre clearly was not able to–and this can only lead to power lust. That and suicide are the only answers to this illness. Absolute emotional solitude is a given. Only the shared exercise of power relieves it, and then only temporarily. It is a mania that cannot heal itself. Only growth can do that. Only Goodness can do that. Otherwise, it is an endless and ultimately very dull circle. The Time Warp.
What I am finding is that my shaking is fading. Fear is falling away from me. I am developing an indifference to life, not in the sense that I am unengaged with it–but that the thought of dying doesn’t frighten me.
At the end of the day, all fear is fear of death. There are deaths and there is Death, but they are all of a kind. When my fear falls away finally, then I will sleep peacefully. It seems that is the only solution: and it is a good solution. I like it.