We are all born where we are born, to parents who may or may not want us, who may or may not teach us useful lessons, who may in fact inflict pain on us, and denigrate us.
Where you are is where you are. Nothing can change this. Given this, if you stipulate, through excuses, that you are helpless, then you have taken your own destiny out of your hands. You have given in to helplessness, and this in turn makes whatever pain may be present worse.
I think most people make excuses. Certainly I do. My feeling is that my excuses are often reasons–which may or may not be true, although if I’m honest it likely isn’t true–but they are reason on a path to personal accountability. I take frequent breaks climbing the mountain, but I look at the summit often, and when I am done resting, I continue climbing.
It is perfectly acceptable to ask for help, but it is never consistent with a healthy sense of self, of healthy self empowerment, to demand of others that they do for you things you can do for yourself.
This is an axiom of genuinely Liberal culture. This is an axiom of good people.
The alternative is people USING other people for their own selfish and unhealthy ends. Some people need to infantilize other people, so they can remain perennial parents. Not because they are good parents, or care-givers, but because it gives them a sense of power when others depend on them, which is easily rationalizable as morality.
This is the root dynamic of race relations in this country. The political Left tells blacks that it will care for them, and far too many blacks are content to take them at their word.
Again: this is spoken from a place impatient with the low self esteem implied by the complicity of ordinary blacks in this system. Black people are capable of vastly more than they are showing as a cultural group at the moment. They are capable of genius. They just need to believe it.
We all make excuses, and in my view, there is no warrant for judging people for it. At the same time, it is perfectly reasonable to hope for other people what they fear to hope for themselves.