But not this team, like this.
It’s only a movie, but it really speaks to impermanence. It’s a funny thing: we are creating our future as we roll along, but we are also creating our past in terms of what we remember, what stays with us. It’s not all there. We don’t know what’s going to happen, but we also can’t fully remember what HAS happened. It’s all cosmic tragicomedy.
I was laying in bed last night, just feeling Life, and found myself sobbing. All humans wrestle with this strange condition, where people come and go, most of us do not get enough love, we grow old simply by not dying, and where we buy what confidence we have through faith alone, often without realizing we have done so.
But I feel this energy ebbing and flowing, and when it comes to me, I feel that all moments can be magical. There is a sort alchemical reaction possible which makes all of this OK, and even beautiful. Why, this energy asks, would you ever want it any other way? I am perhaps influenced here by Vonnegut’s “so it goes”, but even without fatalism aging, sickness and death remain. We do not have to belief in a deterministic universe to understand that these await all of us.
There is something else, though. Our feelings really constitute our side of our conscious reaction with What Is. If they can learn to deal with a higher or different What Is, then they will change and adapt to that new reality. This is perhaps the core task of what we call spirituality.
I was fixing my lunch just now and wondering if Buddhism involves “clinging to the Present”. Is that a useful word for a religion which otherwise denounces attachment? If you cling to the present, are you not abandoning your clinging to the past and future?
I don’t know. I really don’t know. My work continues.