Thoughts pass through heads, right? Things you can say? Well, emotions–what I will call here emotional logic–passes through me sometimes too. If I am unique-ish in this regard, it is only because I pay attention to it. I am very sure it happens to all of us.
And it struck me today that destroying something FEELS like the first moment of growth. There is that time where you decide to abandon who you were, and become someone else. There is that time you decide to destroy old habits and build new ones. There is a time when you decide that what was, will be no more. That is destructive, and preparatory to building.
But would it not logically–emotionally logically–be possible to get addicted to that feeling of beginning without the pain and work of the following finishing?
I think yes. Always beginning and never finishing is ever-hopeful, no?
I do think this process, though, over time, proves frustrating, and eventually hope is–with considerable justification–lost. This is where you get genuine Sadism, and truly reckless self destruction.
Up up up, and down down down: all one day at a time.