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I’ve been feeling the past few days like I am almost ready to being learning.  I’ve been stuck for so long, but I feel like something in me is like a monk ready to begin honest training.

And I will add, perhaps pretentiously–I don’t know how I come across, since I have no feedback–that I think many people who claim they are “spiritually accomplished” have not hit first base yet.  The world is simply filled with imbeciles.

No: the world is filled with confused people, con artists, and psychopaths.  And we’re all lonely, even those who pretend otherwise.

I may just wake up one day.  That’s the goal. 

I have said for years that I am capable of 12 cylinder performance, but limited to 4.  I think I’m up to six.  That means I can do twice as well as I’m doing.  That sounds about right.  I believe that.

I FEEL my stupidity.  That is not false humility.  I have no one to impress.  That is what I feel.  I am limited, dampened, stupidified.