Over the years I have had a lot of opportunities to spend time with and get to know some really tough people, and they are happiest when they are on the edge, when they are pushing their limits. It is not something they do because they have to, but because it makes them feel alive.
And these folks–lets take Special Operations guys as an example–are not serious, grim, scowling people. They love to laugh and joke around and mess with each other. You don’t need to act tough when you are tough.
I think it is really important to reframe difficulty. We assume that a “bad” situation necessarily must lead to negative emotions. But if you treat everything as an adventure, as an experience meant to teach you something, you become alert, you become receptive, you ask questions of the experience like “why are you here?” You wait for the answer, you look for the answer. And it comes. Some part of your unconscious can’t stand the tension, and it will feed you something you didn’t have before.
As I have said before, I have no way of knowing if “everything happens for a reason” (other than you being a dumbass and making bad choices), but it is categorically a useful belief. If you believe that, you start looking for reasons, and in that very process you transform it.