Author: White Whale
Infinity Post
Please be forewarned: this post may mess with your brain a bit. If you are on the edge, looking for a good spin on recent political disasters, or otherwise not doing so well, skip this one.
So, I had a another demon visit me last night. It was right in my face, and unusually stable. I could feel the heat of controlled nervous tension, and chronic anger, but it was not spinning out of control like they normally are.
We conversed back and forth a bit, and finally I asked it “what do you want?” It said: “I want you to stop giving me stories with beginnings and ends.”
Now, psychodynamically, this could be me casting out something tense, angry, and inconsistent. You can only see it when it is on the outside.
I am very certainly inconsistent, in which I say I want to do or be X, Y, or Z, and then give up quickly. I cycle through many selves regularly. It is fear pushing me out of every space I try to occupy. It is trauma making it impossible to relax.
So this could be a clear sign of emotional progress. In fact, I think it is. I am increasingly calming down, such that I get at least moments where the world feels almost OK. If you do not know what terrible trauma feels like, for me it feel like a continuous need to run, no matter where I am or what I am doing, or who I am with, or not with. It does not matter. It is a triggered alarm in my brain that never stops.
On the plus side I can deal well with fears that terrify most people. I have long term daily practice functioning in the face of fear. I am like a 3 gear truck: I can keep going in all conditions, but rarely with anything approaching speed. Still, it gives me survivability, and allows me to see when others can’t, and to keep moving when others are paralyzed.
Here is the larger point I am going to allow myself to make, that of Samsara.
I think, given our default materialistic belief system–one firmly NOT rooted in current science, making it a de facto faith based religious dogma explicable through psychological but not empirical reasoning–most people are gratified to learn that the evidence is good that we survive physical “death”. There are other places, “summer lands”, paradises, places where we reunite with our “tribe”, our soul group, our “people”, who we have known for many eons.
Evidence is good that we reincarnate time after time, each time in pursuit of learning, of growth. Consider consciously, perhaps for the first time, what “learning” is. It consists in growing, does it not? You are one thing one day, then you learn, and you are a bit more the next. Growing is the name of the game.
But what the Hindus and Buddhists and no doubt others ask is this: what is the end game? We grow, yes, and get into better and better heavens, but what is the point? Is there a point? How can one live forever and not lose ones mind? How can we conceive of Infinity anyway, or a place without Time?
Imagine that aliens from distant planets are visiting us. Imagine that they figured all this out long ago, but are even now trying to answer this question: what is the point? They are perhaps watching us, to see if WE can come up with something good. This is not a technological question If we are on this side of life, what do we do, and if we are on THAT side, what do we do? If we build an Earthly, material paradise, how long until ennui and dissolution make it pointless and moot? Does it matter how beautiful it is?
What if demons–and I just edited this post to add this, since I forgot–are beings unable to deal with the immensity of existence? What if they want to CREATE a hell with no change? A heaven with no change still has to alter or change at some point, but does Hell? You do not need to fear its end, and the pain of suffering distracts you from the pain of the infinity of existence. What if demons are just beings who have been broken on the wheel of Samsara?
What if there is a God of infinite light, but that there are never any instructions offered, or that some beings never get close enough to hear them?
Can you not imagine that, in an infinite space and time–FELT as such–that some souls may want to end it all? Apparently Star Trek Next Generation did some episodes about a Q who wanted to die. The Q are immortal, infinitely powerful beings.
How long, it can be asked, would such a condition be gratifying? You may want a new home, or a new car, or a better more beautiful/handsome husband or wife (Beautiful husband, handsome wife). You may just want enough to eat, or shelter from the sun and cold and wind. You may want leisure to read all of Shakespeare’s plays, or to binge watch Game of Thrones again.
What if you get all that, for all the time you need, and then an infinity more? And think big: think of the ability to conjure instantly into existence any reality you can imagine. The best food and wine, beautiful women and men, of EXACTLY the perfection you can imagine. Landscapes beyond belief, dwellings that go on indefinitely. The ability to dance to heavenly music thousands of years on end.
Are you still happy? Most of the time we conceive of happiness as relief from some present stress. If we are intensely hungry, we feel good as soon as we get food. Water, when we drink. Sex, when we get release some way. Most of our extended fantasies are just the next logical steps. You want sex, then good sex, then great sex, then great sex with as many partners as you want.
Here is an idea: imagine that every person that you meet–the homeless people, the CEO of your company, the gal working at Subway–was at one time a king or queen, but found it unsatisfying for some reason or other.
Imagine Bill Gates was a homeless street boy in Bangkok in his last lifetime, and was run over when he was 15 by a trolley, and that he is getting back at the world in this lifetime.
One way of thinking of reincarnation is that of a sort of suicide. You lose your memory. You are amnesiac. And you lose some part of your historical self. Every time you transit out of a birth canal you are squeezed into a new form, emotionally and socially and psychologically. You cease being who you were. And whatever that is eternal endures is not readily consciously available to you.
So reincarnation could be seen as suicide after suicide, in an infinite space, where we feel confused (perhaps).
Maybe we are being visited by many civilizations from other planets who STILL do not have really good answers to these questions. Maybe they have opened the lines of communication between those with physical bodies currently, and those on the other side. Maybe some “families” and tribes have been in contact with one another continually for a million years or more. Maybe they never developed amnesia, and are wondering how well it is working for us.
Here is the point that occurred to me this morning: living in the moment amounts, effectively, to amnesia with respect to the future and the past.
And keep in mind that Nirvana means “cessation”. It means blowing out, like a candle. The Buddha path is a way out of this infinity, but what it leads to is not answerable in words, and not without direct experience. It is very much a case of “that”.
I had this sense a week or two ago that the old sages of Tibet (and everywhere else, but I was seeing the guys and gals in the huts and caves) were unbelievably tough. All these ideas, taken directly, are brutal. They require a sort of coldness, even hostility, to take seriously. They were working on a level most of us, in our decadence, cannot begin to comprehend. We think the phrase “be kind” has something profound in it, as if that needed to be said, as if that principle were not obvious, as if kindness were not natural for all people leading ordinary, authentic and reasonably balanced lives. We have to be told to be kind because we are not, in all too many cases.
I don’t think most of us could handle for a moment the work of those great men and women, some of whom may still exist on this planet in physical form. But it is something to aim for. We have to stop accepting as deep profoundly insipid truisms, and comforting lies. Virya–roughly “manliness”, although of course it applies to women too–is a key virtue on the Buddhist path. It is not all about being nice, and an obsession with being nice makes most interesting and meaningful progress impossible, in my view.
What can you do? Be where you are, and do what you are doing calmly, with connection and love. Samsara is equal to nirvana. This is a teaching of one of the Buddhist schools, I think the Madhyamika.
And think about this: when you imagine a future or a past, it is usually visual first, then perhaps tactile then auditory. Whatever it is, there is a thought, a representation of some sort. Calmness (body) and peace (emotional and intellectual) are existence without creating thoughts and representations. These are both attainable through meditation.
I often seem to myself as a man out of time. Nobody sees me. I am invisible in most respects. My thoughts and visions are my own. I share them here since it seems to make me less lonely, but I can’t see anywhere I would or could go and feel at home. It makes more sense to try and create a home where I am.
I will do that one day, perhaps soon, starting in my own heart.
Moving Forward
What do you do, when you suffer a defeat? Regroup, rethink, retool, and try again. Here are some ideas.
1. I would like to see President Trump create or lead, or contribute to some sort of PAC which primaries RINO’s. This would better serve the purpose which would underlie creating a competing party. Even RINO’s still have to pretend sometimes, so there is no reason to not use the connection of name and purported goal to at least sometimes move in the same direction.
At the same time, there is little point in helping elect “Republicans” who cave in at every whiff of opposition from psychopathic Democrats, who feel no pity, no remorse, no moral scruples, and whose whole plan depends on the utilization of the manifestly numerous Quislings within our ranks.
It is possible to foresee a scenario where such a PAC gets MORE money than the RNC itself. That would serve the role of creating an alternative party, without actually risking splits of the sorts that happened in 1992 and 1912.
2. I would like to see the creation of a conservative ACLU, which sues anyone and everyone who says anything egregiously insulting, and which sues anyone who attempts to violate and constrain the civil rights of conservatives.
I would like a lawsuit to be filed every time a conservative is accused of racism, without evidence. To be called a racist, in today’s society, is not all that different from being called a rapist or even murderer. It is an effort at character assassination, social marginalization, and is a de facto act of violence against that person’s ability to earn a living, move in their social circle, and to be regarded with the esteem their contributions would otherwise merit.
Specifically, Democrats want to do Stalinistic purges of the military, which is ironic, since vastly more soldiers PLAINLY support Trump than Biden. This means over half of the people we have recruited and trained and whose expertise and experience are invaluable are subject to arbitrary removal solely for partisan political reasons. All of this needs to be opposed by an Army of attorneys.
I think everyone who calls for concentration camps should be sued for hate speech. Katie Couric should be sued for inciting violence for calling for us to be reeducated.
There needs to be price paid, legally and monetarily, for all this thoughtless, reckless, hateful, violent, spiteful and absolutely ugly rhetoric. And settlements can be paid into political funds.
Both of these projects I think the at least 80 million of us who remain Trump supporters would be happy to pay into.
3. I think the huge gains in State Legislatures need to be used to investigate voter fraud, and laws need to be passed preventing what happened in 2020 from happening again. This cannot be done in every State, but it certainly can in Wisconsin, Michigan, Georgia, Arizona, Pennsylvania and elsewhere.
They need to 1) find the fraud; 2) describe it publicly; and 3) prevent it from ever happening again. They have the votes–or should–in all those States.
And I also think a LOT of election related lawsuits need to be filed. The people of America were disenfranchised. We were defrauded, and by our own system. Our votes were cancelled. Our guy was not inaugurated because the supposed winner cheated. All the State Assemblies should be sued, the Governors, the Secretaries of State, the national House of Representatives, and most Senators. Only those who objected should be left alone.
If you think about it, there is every political logic in the world trying to make it seem as if the third of Americans who think this election was stolen are crazy radicals. After all, the election WAS stolen, and Biden is on a shaky enough basis as it is, without this being made an obvious objection to literally everything he does. He himself, for that matter, should be sued, as should all his senior campaign officials.
I don’t know what happened with our courts. Sometimes people spasm in a moment of crisis–if they have not thought through their beliefs and principles clearly enough in advance–and just do whatever is easiest in the moment. Some of those people–the honest ones–regret it later Some of those people–who are cowards or corrupt–are just glad it is over, and can be counted on to boot out any follow ups.
But we don’t really know what this ratio is. We don’t know how many momentary failures there were under stress and how many of our “protectors” are just salary drawing political parasites. A bevy of lawsuits may help make that more clear.
As I understand it, some 30 lawsuits are still in play, and Sidney Powell at least, is doing her best to muscle them forward. There is every reason to think none of them will amount to anything, but I would love to proven wrong.
But it is no reason a couple new lawsuits a week could not be filed for the next two years, and no reason AT ALL that Republican controlled legislatures would do anything but investigate all this completely and then make this level and sort of cheating impossible in the future. The technology for this plainly exists, and the argument that not allowing mass cheating disenfranchises blacks ignores the the 25% of them who voted for Donald Trump had THEIR votes cancelled. And we can expect that percentage to continue to rise. Democrats are increasingly losing the ability to lie to that community.
4. One potential positive is that the contrast between the competence of the Trump Administration and that of the Biden and soon Harris Administration is so OBVIOUS, that many Democrats may well find themselves alienated. It is not entirely unreasonable to hope many, once they calm down, once they are not getting daily polemic against the “evil” Donald Trump, find themselves wondering what they were so upset against. Trump never talked about purging the military; Biden’s people are. Trump never talked about censoring anyone. He just wanted the journalists who were lying to tell the truth. Biden’s people, on the other hand, very much want to censor and silence political dissent. The FBI–in what was no doubt intended as a de facto act of State terrorism and intimidation–just arrested a guy for a meme he created FOUR YEARS AGO. He will most likely win his case on a First Amendment basis, but he is still likely sitting in jail, and the message has been sent.
Trump avoided wars diligently, and in fact helped create a historic thaw in relations between North and South Korea–while getting Kim to stop his nuke tests, which he had done openly and provocatively under Obama. He talked a number of Islamic regimes into recognizing Israel, while also moving our embassy to Jerusalem, which even Obama and Clinton had promised to do, but who never did it.
And I think we all know Trump was the prosperity candidate, and Biden is the guy whose job it is to drag this pandemic out long enough for Big Money to buy up most of Little America. If you look, small companies are getting bought up left and right by much bigger companies. Biden is the guy for Big Business, Big Tech, for transglobal megacorporations and banks. This is obvious. Maybe there remain some Democrats capable of seeing this. In theory they are the “buy local”, and “let’s keep our town weird”. Yet, they voted for the guy trying to cancel all that. Maybe they can figure this out.
Maybe Biden getting in office is the way we avoid, in the long run, the civil war so many are talking about. Maybe the scales fall off the eyes of enough Democrats that a broad, pro-American coalition of reasonable and pragmatic people becomes possible. That obviously has been my hope for a long time. I call myself a moderate, and can only seem radical to people disconnected from history, and who fundamentally misunderstand what I believe and why.
Robert Anton Wilson–a mushroom popping hippie if there ever was one–said once that all it took for him to transition from a “liberal” to a conservative was 10 years, and all without him changing any of his beliefs.
And I cannot for the life of me imagine any form of violence at this point that would serve a useful purpose. They WANT violence, so they can justify the crimes they eagerly want to commit against us. But they need a pretext. And they may well CREATE one, if one is not forthcoming, in the form of a false flag, of the sort I have come to believe 9/11 was.
I cannot imagine any scenario in which the CIA and FBI, in some form or fashion, albeit only perhaps among a very small number of people, were not directly involved in planning and executing 9/11. They planted the explosives, directed the hijackers (who may well not have known of the explosives), and managed the cover up. I feel reasonably confident about this. It is the only scenario which connects all the dots.
For my part, I give money monthly to these folks: https://www.ae911truth.org/
They keep going, month after month, year after year. And why not? Their cause is just. They are speaking a needed truth, whose importance has done nothing but increase with time. Maybe Donald Trump–particularly if whatever reason he decides not to run in 2024, or is made ineligible by some trick or other–can get on this bandwagon the way he did the Birth Certificate issue. I will remind you that that was when I knew he was solid gold: he was the ONLY ONE, in a multitude of people who should have known better, willing to point ot the obvious fact that Barack Obama could not have gotten hired at a Burger King with the birth certificate he provided. As I have said often, I believe the evidence is good that Frank Marshall Davis was his real father, and I also continue to believe he never formally renounced his Indonesian citizenship, and may not be, even now, a legal citizen of this country.
There is every reason for raging anger, for burning tires in the streets, for shutting down the world. But again, this is what they WANT. All the media will portray everyone who is not one of them as a supporter of “insurrection”. This will allow them to arrest innocent people, and to get really wobbly really quickly with all the legal protections our Constitution–which they hold in contempt, obviously–supposedly guarantees us. As I keep telling my libertarian acquaintances, no law or supposed right is worth a bucket of spit without honest enforcement.
No, I think patience is the best path right now. Let Joe Biden impress the world with his imbecility, senility, and with the dangerousness and destructiveness of the program he is being told to inflict on the American people.
Put all sorts of small wheels in motion, to try and move us all back in the direction of sanity, prosperity, freedom, and the rule of law.
These are my votes.
May go quiet for a while
I will quote myself from 2008:
“The danger to America is not Barack Obama, but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America . Blaming the prince of fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their President.”
Do I need to state the obvious? Yes, perhaps I do. But that is the point, is it not? Some things, if they have to be said, cannot be heard.
I realize that much of this posting stems from an emotionally primitive need to control people. I control no one, obviously, and there has never been any reason to think that I did. But the NEED is still there. I see this now.
I am a Pisces. I go this way, then that way. As I put it to someone the other day “if we are not active enthusiasts we tend to be depressed. Sometimes both in one day.”
I am not depressed. I am self focused. I am trying to learn to live with our future, and with the non-zero possibility the lunatics will lock me up for some reason or other. This is not irrational: they are actively calling for concentration camps, and no senior leaders in either party seem to be capable of expressing the appropriate amount of horror at this idea, in AMERICA, which used to mean something to members of both parties, and to all our citizens generally, ESPECIALLY those who came here from actively oppressive regimes.
The most useful rebellion I can commit right now is to try and become a more complete person. Perhaps a miracle is in our future, but most likely not.
Switched over
Not doing the Google thing any more. Fuck them. Fuck all Big Tech. There is something about working in a world of numbers, of advanced abstraction, of grossly diminished human contact both in quality and quantity, which seems to breed conscienceless animals.
People like that, they can’t do their own moral reasoning, their own wrestling with functional senses of honest responsibility–which they seem to lack–so they grab en masse whatever happens to be floating around, and use it as a focal point both for conformity, and for the outward direction of violence, in the form of scapegoating.
I’ll improve the look eventually, but this will do for now.