Author: White Whale

 Is being addicted to media not something close to functional hypervigilance?  If I am clicking every five minutes to check, to check, to check, is that not functional OCD?  

This world may spin out of control, and that spinning out of control could easily take the form of the world becoming a gigantic prison.  Centralized authority is less orderly than formal Complexity.  It subtracts as much information as possible.  That is its nature.

But if we survive with goodness intact, with working hearts in addition to the adding machines on our shoulders, then we will come to view all of this as madness.

History has seen wave after wave after wave of madness.  Christianity, as it was deployed historically by the Church, is madness.  Low fat diets are madness.  Lockdowns and masks are madness.

History has seen a few people, here and there, who made a difference; and in their own times, most of them were hated.

No matter what happens, I think I am going to walk away from this continual storm.  I think I have developed the resources emotionally to do it, finally.  

 Oddly enough, I feel relatively tranquil.  I think I have accepted that Biden may win, and that a whole host of unnecessary, bad things will follow.

My task is to build tranquility in all circumstances.  Equanimity is, perhaps, the beginning of all lasting blessings.

The world is the world, and it is out there, and operating by its own laws.  It is not under my control, but if I harness myself, my happiness, my peace of mind, to its restlessness and continual change, then there is nothing left of me.  I need a divorce from concerns about people and places I can’t see and can’t touch.

 It occurred to me that I would be much happier if I went 10% slower.  You can stay on track, and get a lot done, but 10% loosens you, and frees you up for moments of new perception and reflection.

It is the affective equivalent of keeping your mouth slightly open when meditating and your tongue on the roof of your mouth behind your teeth.  This may have the subtle energetic benefit ascribed to it, but it certainly makes it impossible to clench your jaw.

Go slow.  Or at least slower.  Unless there is something truly important going on.

 https://www.americasfrontlinedoctors.com/summit2/

And I will note that many of these doctors have in fact been in the “front lines” in the battle against COVID-19, but that ALL of them are in the front lines in the battle–which is in my view the more important battle–for truth and effective, intelligent policy.

 https://banned.video/watch?id=5f9f56fcf2aba40f0a83d61d

In one study people wearing masks were 13x more likely to get infected.  They don’t know why.

But the whole thing is worth the watch.

 I was dreaming in darkness last night.  It was not bad.  It felt like I am finally getting to see the reality of my own experience clearly.  Most all of us tell lies to ourselves all our lives; some of us more than others, and I would be in the some of us.

I think to see darkness clearly is to sense light.  I think of Lao Tzu’s “darkness within darkness: the gateway to all mystery.”

And I have been feeling light periodically over the past week or two.  I will feel ribbons of purple and orange coursing through the world.

And I feel that our planet–and all matter–floats, like the thinnest foam, within an infinite space.  Someone who knew how light it was could lift the whole universe overhead easily.

And energies flow through it like it has no mass at all.  Continually.  Some energies lift us up, and some push us down.  Gravity is the effect of us forgetting how light we really are.  Gravity is a state of being, not a law of any sort, at least where we are concerned.  We are consciously living matter, in this world.

This is a Turning Point on our planet.  As goes America, so goes most of the world.  We all know this.  We are by far the most powerful nation to ever exist, and when you consider that, it is all the more remarkable that we are so abominably stupid.  Could people like Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have been nominated to be President even in this country until this very year?  It is astonishing.

I feel back on my own history.  I was dreaming, for the manyeth time, of being an academic and of being a soldier.  I have long regretted failing to be either.  But I felt then, and continue to believe logically now, that both pathways would have led to me abandoning the path I am on.  

I live a humble life now.  Nothing special.  But I am able to focus my energy on figuring out who I am, what life is about, and how we can all make it better.  I have no prism or lens I need to use other than what feels intuitively right to me.  I have nothing really distracting me.  Even the physical labor I do leaves ample mental energy for continual reflection.

I was very proud to be accepted into the University of Chicago, and very proud to have done fine there.  Nothing exceptional–there were definitely smarter people there–but I did fine.

My whole life I have been saying “not that, not that”.  I have not known the way forward, but have done my best to say no to pathways that I knew were dead ends for me.

This is a surreal time.  You have to be dead spiritually not to feel the electricity and dread in the air.  There is fear, yes, but hope too.  There is change, one way or the other.  All of this is medicine for the soul.  All of this is energy that, if you internalize it, breathe it in, will change you, will permit you to take your next step in the direction of That.

 “2020” is a creation of Democrats.  In my view, there is a power elite that is quite literally willing to throw billions of people–and yes I mean billions–of people back into extreme poverty, cause the deaths by starvation of millions, perhaps tens of millions, of people, and completely ruin Main Street and the small business sector, in order to resecure their control of the reins of power.

They politicized this thing early.  They prevented rational dialogue.  They prevented the emergence of effective treatments.  They demonized a drug that has been used with no conspicuous problems in half the world since 1955.  They mobilized and paid for riots which, in the main, destroyed black businesses, black neighborhoods, and black jobs.

And I truly believe that they wanted people to vote early because they are in a race against time.  At some point, the sheer volume of the devastation they have wrought is going to become clear.  At some point, the STUPIDITY of what we have been doing is going to become clear.  Masks make things worse.  I am 75% convinced of this, and 100% convinced they are not necessary.  Early treatment is the key to reducing death, but none of our senior people are recommending it.  Lockdowns INCREASE the death rate, in the short, middle, and long terms.

The whole thing is manufactured madness.  The “experts” have been bought, and the media has suppressed all the experts who remain dedicated to truth telling.  The Frontline Doctors continue to be censored, even we all know they are doctors and that what they are saying makes sense.

All of this because they fear Donald Trump.  He is the first honest President we have had in I can’t begin to guess how long.  Maybe it was Jack Kennedy who, despite his continual infidelities, did actually love this country in his heart.  He did risk his life for it.

All of the things the Left claims to hate about this country, about the rich, about injustice, are embodied in today’s Democrats.  They hate impartial justice, wealth they don’t control, free speech, and in my own view, happiness outright.  It is a party of nastiness, venom, sadism, and control.  And they are empowered beyond belief by the support of the tyrants of social media, all of who are nasty, awful people.

That is what I really think.  I will do the best I can to live in this country as we move towards an Orwellian future if we elect Joe Biden, but it will be in a spirit of sadness, in a spirit of loss, and a sense of how close we came to building something truly good and lasting.

 I think the nature of Developmental Trauma is that some small children develop, very early, what amount to “alters”–alternative personalities, sub-personalities–whose job is to feel the pain and misery going on in them.

Narcissism and Sociopathy exist on a continuum.  This much has always seemed intuitively obvious to me, and what I will suggest is that these alters are the hidden triggers behind the behavior of those who grow up to have full blown Personality Disorders.

Narcissists believe that they can only exist at the cost of those around them.

Sociopaths believe–and this is at a deep, unconscious level–that they can’t exist at all.  This is why moral codes don’t apply to them.  There is no stable sense of self possible for them.  Sensations become the only reality for them, and since they are evanescent, they must be sought continually.  Stimulation is the only permanent reality.

And I would argue the opposite: that continual stimulation regresses the sense of self, and that people who grow up with it never develop strong senses of self.

Without a sense of self, no moral or social contextualizing is possible.  

I think I want to argue this is the root problem in America–and indeed much of the world–today.  It doesn’t matter your politics but it seems to me those who are set on destroying the world do so because they are like children torturing small animals because it is stimulating, and they feel no connection, no remorse, and no context.  It is all about the sensations, those of rage, of anger, of an assumed righteousness, of a grief at the “crimes of the world” whose superficiality they would need context to understand and realize.

Functionally, I think I want to claim, continual overstimulation from an early age prevents the development of adult sociality, and in effect induces de facto sociopathy.

Niceness is not a creed.  It is a default suitable even for the most disconnected, the least emotionally aware, and for the most latently cruel and violent.  The logical culmination is sadism in the name of compassion, something which has been seen many times over the past several centuries.

In the time of the Bolshevik coup, and in the time of the French Revolution, there were real crimes being perpetrated by the governments, real hunger and misery.

And yet in the most safe, most comfortable, most affluent, most cozy and easy nation in the history of the world, large segments of our society have come to see themselves as oppressed, and believe that violence–emotional, verbal and physical–is the only answer. It beggars the imagination.  It should not be possible.  But here it is.

 Power, to me, is riding a horse full speed on the high plains of Central Asia.  Joy is doing it with friends and family.  Spirituality is feeling the sky above me, the ground beneath me, and the air moving by me.

The same image would work well with Native Americans too.  I personally feel more connection to Asia for some reason, perhaps past lives there.

If you think about it, jailors ALSO spend most of their lives in confinement.

The ocean is a metaphor.  It can be found everywhere.  At least until recently I suspect many  Tibetans felt closer to it than those who live on the beach in Malibu. I suspect for many Californians it comes over time to represent frustrated longings.  They have everything, but they don’t have everything, and in important respects, they have nothing.  They live in deserts.

 https://www.infowars.com/posts/marianne-williamson-justifies-philly-looting-by-claiming-bible-says-nothing-about-stealing-being-bad/