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Human Connection

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs

In this lecture he references a study of rats and addiction.  Gabor Mate–who seems to have written the best books on addiction also references this study.

In the study, a solitary rat, given an option of water, and water with cocaine, will choose the latter until it dies.  From this, it was assumed that something in cocaine was inherently addictive.

But rats in fun places, surrounded by other rats, rarely or never get addicted.  They are enjoying themselves too much.

Here is the interesting question: how is it that people feel so alone, when surrounded by people and opportunities, that they act like the solitary rat?  Can we not posit that even people who shoot heroin in groups still feel alone?

Ponder.

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Self abuse

I feel this morning that substance abuse in any form–and more broadly that compulsivity we call “addiction”–is really self abuse.  It is a form of cutting, of denying, of saying no to something.

And what are we saying no to?  Positive feelings.  You might feel, when you are drunk, or high, or fucking another stranger, that life is good, that everything is wonderful.  But you also know that you will come down.  And you know the darkness that awaits you, the helplessness that awaits you.  You know the weight of the world.

And so why would any sane person not want to go back up again as soon as possible?  What sane person would want to live in the dark cage of their life, when there is another possibility?  Is it not the case that there is no need at all to explain this behavior, that it is utterly rational and predictable, for people with certain sorts of wounds?

And I feel the critical pivot point is trust.  We need other people, but some of us find it difficult or impossible to trust life and to trust other people.  We have been betrayed too often, too early, and felt too much pain.  So we create half of what we really want, but create it in a way we control.

What we suppress is a natural sense of open wonder, of spontaneous affection, of joy.  All of these things, we have learned, can be sucked up, used, and spit out by others.  So our addiction is really in important respects a barrier against authentic happiness.

I am slowly awaking from a long dream–and dream, not nightmare, is the word, since my numbness kept much of it from being too unpleasant–and seeing possibilities I never guessed were there.

For my part, given the strangeness of our world, I feel little surprise that so many people escape through work or sex, or alcohol.  I feel no wonder that opiates are surging through our alienated world.  Why would they not, when we have lost the ability to speak, to share needed truths, to feel who we are, to connect with ourselves and everything around us?

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Kieslowski’s Decalogue

I have now managed to watch numbers 4-10, which are all that are available on NetFlix.  I will have to buy the rest.  I just want to say that I am a lifelong film buff, and no film or series of films has ever moved me more, or better probed deep human issues than this set of short films.

Because of his style and his spirituality, Tarkovsky will remain my favorite director.  But for dealing in nuanced, non-reductive and sympathetic ways with complex moral and emotional issues, for my money Kieslowski has no equal, and very few even come close.  He is–or was–one of the world’s truly great film directors and writers, and it is a shame he is not better known.

I suspect a primary reason for this is that his films are work.  They are so emotionally evocative I find myself weeping at the end of nearly every one–7 in particular was very difficult, and of course the music doesn’t help–and have to work myself up to watch them in the first place. This DVD has been sitting on my counter for two weeks.

This, however, is genius.  All of us need to do the adult work of understanding one another and ourselves, even though it is often painful when done properly.

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Speaking politically

My sense that I am good at breaking down complex issues into simpler narratives, without reducing them in a manner harmful to truth and effectiveness, is I think well founded. I am intelligent. I am a good writer.  I am talented in some ways.

But what I am feeling right now is my essential inhumanity, my coldness, my distance.

These people marching in the streets–Antifa, BLM, et al–they are frightened.  What they need in their hearts is for someone they TRUST to quiet them, and tell them its all going to be OK.  You can calm down.  The future is not going to hurt you.  The world is not your enemy.

What they need is honest and heartfelt nurturing, of a sort I suspect most of them never got.  Most of us, any more, in this mechanical and passively hostile world never get what we really need.  Their parents were working.  Their culture values them mainly for their capacity to contribute economically, and goodness is close to being equated with wealth.  They were raised with computers with no souls.  They were raised without profound and soul-level music and poetry.  They were raised without communal dance and rejoicing.

We have no real festivals.  We rarely or never meet Life together and with good cheer and optimism.

The image I get is villages where, when you cannot sleep, you get up and go to the center–which is not far away–and meet others and listen to stories you have heard many times, which quiet the soul, and eventually inspire refreshing sleep, and a spirit of openness to life in the morning when the Sun comes up again, as it always does.

It is of course a truism to say that most of us are separated from nature, but it is even more obvious we are living in manners which separate us from one another.

I for one am continually drawing lines. I can tell you why psychologically, and cannot yet tell you how to stop, but this important reality needs to be acknowledged.  There are many like me.

This is a day, for me, for dreaming.  I will not share all my dreams here yet, although the broad outlines should be clear enough.  But I will say that I do feel a sense of destiny, that all my suffering has been for a purpose, that if God wills it, I may have a role to play in helping all of us out of our collective nightmares.

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Judgement Day

Judgement Day is when the full truth is told and cannot be avoided.  It is when you feel fully what your actions have done in the world, what effect they have had on the lives of those around you.

True love arises from the feeling of Judgement Day, because it partakes inherently of the truth that we are all connected, and it can see, immediately and accurately, what is happening, how people are feeling, and what is needed.
Hell is feeling apart.  We can protect ourselves for a long time with intentionally foggy thinking, and particularly through the illusion of group membership bought with violence against another, but not forever. 
Today and tomorrow, particularly, feel what comes up in your heart.  Feel what the universe has been trying to tell you for so very long, with infinite patience, and infinite compassion.  No one is ever lost, but many wander far, far away from their homes.  Certainly, I have.  I continue to try and find my path back.
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Abstraction

The concept of universal human rights is an abstraction.  So too is “social justice”, which can mean whatever the person using it wants it to mean.

Ponder how odd it is that we were able to build so much on one iteration of abstract thinking; and how that same style of thinking, with different content, is working so well to destroy everything good it touches.

Self evidently, the common theme is emotional detachment, and the differences are in the spirit of active and self reflective honesty, genuine good will, and attention to logical rigor, none of which matter in the slightest to most current academics.

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The truth

I was feeling blue Wednesday for several reasons, and my therapist suggested a depression protocol for my neurofeedback session.  I really felt much better a few hours later.  I will continue to say that this process will over time replace substantially all psychiatric pharmaceuticals, and most traditional talk therapy.  Precisely because it works and because it is relatively inexpensive, I expect many special interests to work hard to get it more restricted, but the simple fact is that it is virtually impossible to do wrong, has pretty much zero side effects, and does what it is supposed to do.  Good news for humanity, bad news for greedy useless parasites.

Here is the truth, though: I truly think virtually everyone worked up about politics on all sides is depressed, but particularly the Left.  It is an old fact that many people express depression as irrational anger.

There is nothing wrong with opposing racism.  There is nothing wrong with wanting justice, defined in a reasonable way.  These are laudable, commendable goals.  I like most Americans hurt when I watched Roots.  I felt shame.  I hated the Nazis in any number of movies, and in books of history.  I could not understand the horrors of the Holocaust.  Most Americans are like me.  They want things to fair and just.  They want everyone to get their fair shot, and then some.  They want anyone and everyone, of any race and origin, who is willing to work hard, to succeed.  We have long been like this.

But the Left does not connect in any important way with Heartland America, with the values of most of the people who build and create in this country.  These people–Leftists–base their lives and actions on demonstrable lies.  They lie about our history.  They ignore much of the history of the world. Why?

Why, to take one of more examples than I can readily list, does no one ask why Mauritania only banned slavery during the George W. Bush era, just before Obama took office?  If slavery is a problem, carrying it into the 21st century as a legal institution should have been a problem too.

I really do think that in large measure they have nothing else.  Particularly atheists have nothing else.  There is no other ground to stand on, no other campaign to pursue, no other victory worth the winning.  It is anger or sadness, anger or a sense of uselessness and futility.  When they cannot find a cause, they create one, as with the monument controversy.

If they were happy, patient, and whole-heartedly dedicated to the long term good of all, they would be asking questions about, for example, how to get more charter schools in inner cities, how to attract good jobs to inner cities, and how to improve policing in all communities.

But they don’t do that.

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Sanctimony, Smoke and Wind

So you tell me you hate racism so much, and you feel violence is the answer.

What, pray tell, is a sane person to make of your habit of calling anyone who disagrees with you even slightly a “racist”?

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Honest blame

It occurs to me that if one single person is most responsible for the death of that woman in Charlottesville, it would be the person–he, she, or it-/who was beating the bumper of the driver. That was a nice car, and he probably assumed the windows were next. He rammed forwards to get room, backed up rapidly and sped away.

I wonder if this person has shed any tears contemplating their direct role in the death of one of their own, or is the hate thick and impermeable enough that nothing is left of nuance, of personal accountability, and of the possibility of conscience?

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Moralistic supply and the assault of the Squirrel Tamers

Psychologists speak of the need of Narcissists for attention, which some call “Narcissistic Supply”.

I would suggest there is a similar need among the psychologically weak, lost, and rudderless for “Moralistic Supply”.  They need to feel regularly and often, the sense that they matter, that their lives are not the utterly boring, utterly uncreative wastelands that they in fact are.
As I have noted for some time, the pun “Kos/Cause” at the Daily Kos cannot be accidental, even if that was his nickname–perhaps or even likely the one he gave himself.  Knowing nothing other than that he is the publisher of that site, it seems likely Moulitsas was not liked by many people, whatever he may say to the contrary notwithstanding.
To complete the thought, I am reminded of the Lion Tamer skit in Monty Python.
As Alex Jones and perhaps others have noted, there was a casting call that went out the day before the Charlottesville violence, for actors to play demonstrators.  The tacit assumption seems to be that they were to cast as Antifa, but why not toothless rednecks waving swastikas? (And he never said they were Jewish, by the way: this is more fake news).
I read too that the police were told to stand down, in what was a more or less open provocation to violence.
So, you have organizers only with effort–and one of the organizers is seemingly a falsely flagged Obama supporter and anti-white racist–get together perhaps up to 200 people willing to march behind white supremacists banners, in a nation of 350 million.  Antifa, so called, routinely gets much more than that.  Even when the Klan actually was marching on their own initiative, they were routinely outnumbered some 5 to 1 by protesters, and violence prevented by responsible, non-politicized policing.
But the Left NEEDS, in an apt metaphor, badness like junkies need their drugs.  They need it obviously to support their propaganda.  This is why so many leftists–and the number is high, something like 10-15 incidents at least which got national attention for a second–felt the need to fabricate hate crimes, so that their own hate would be, could be, justified.
But they were lying, as indeed they are now.  This is why they have transitioned from provoking and fabricating “hate crimes” to calling much of the public history of this nation itself a hate crime.
From the standpoint of provocation, this is much more potentially useful.  Many more people will react to the monuments of their history being destroyed by gangs of thugs and overly eager Democrat appeasers, than would ever commit to symbols of intolerance framed racially.  Thus, they get more white anger, which they can then use in tandem with their media relationships to paint all non-conforming whites as racist.
As with all military histories, though, many in the South are proud of their ancestors who fought and in many cases died for States Rights.  Yes, it is true the proximate issue was slavery, and yes it is true that fighting under the banner of freedom for the right to enslave other humans is hypocritical, but the core issue remains: what is the proper role and power of the Federal Government?  Can States leave?  Does the Federal government have the power, SHOULD it have the power, to tell any or all of us to violate our own moral conscience, under pain of being taken prisoner and held captive?
These are consequential, important questions.  And I will note again that they have never appeared in fully fleshed form before the Supreme Court.  Jefferson Davis was arrested, but never tried, because had he been acquitted, Secession would have been rendered permanently legal, and the invasion of the South by the North the war of imperialistic aggression the South always claimed it to have been.
All of the statues around the country were built to heal wounds, to rebuild a common polity by repatriating important heroes of a very violent, very difficult war.
And virtually all of them were built before 1930 or so.  They were not built in the living memory of virtually anyone, and as Charles Barkley notes he, like everyone else, had not spared a second in his lifetime to think about any of them, until this manufactured tempest in a teacup.  They don’t affect his life, or the lives of substantially anyone else, black or white, in any way.
I for my part get, but don’t get, the Republicans in particular who have criticized Trump’s response.  He did nothing more or less than speak the truth.
In Charlottesville, you have an angry, agitated man surrounded by protesters, some of whom are hitting the back of  his car with sticks or bats.  He panics, hits the accelerator and rams the cars in front of him.  This man then becomes the embodiment of hundreds of millions of people–all non-Communists, if we take the rhetoric of the Left to its logical extent–who don’t have one fucking thing in common with him.  These people–the Left–WANTED this outcome.  They provoked him.  They provoked everyone they could.  The Democrat Mayor and Democrat Governor both told all the available police and National Guardsmen to do nothing, to stand down.  This is what I read.
Then literally within a few short days, in Spain we have a car ramming into a crowd, with no provocation, with the sole intent of killing, and the Left really doesn’t care.  That was not the act of a Muslim, even though the panicked driver is supposed to stand in for all conservatives.  
Leftism really is a creed of evil and mental illness.  It is to spreading Good what drinking saltwater is to slaking thirst.
Because no authentic good is ever done, the drugs must be administered continually, literally and figuratively, to keep the illusion alive.  That is what the media does, that is what stupid ideas do, that is what the continual evocation of anger does.  These people cannot ever be allowed to unwind, because they might then realize how batshit insane and destructive even to the people they claim to care about they really are.