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My previous post

I was sitting in a small cafe in a small town in West Virginia when I posted that.  I wasn’t sure why, but I could feel the past heavy in that place particularly.  It turned out that the couple who owned the place had lost a child 5 months previously to cancer.  He was 18.

He said “I’ll guess we’ll never be the same”.  I said no, I didn’t think they would.  She said “it’s made all of us weird”.  I said there’s nothing wrong with that.

When I am feeling good, and I was feeling good then, I constantly find people sharing things like that.  I am an asshole a distressingly large percentage of the time (particularly as seen from other people’s perspectives), but I am also at times capable of genuine kindness, and gentleness.  That is all my children saw most of the time, although I was unable to keep the asshole completely out of view, and they would not hesitate to get on my case about it.

I am still not warm.  That is a growth area.  I grew up in the frost, and it left a mark.  Warmth requires, I think, a deep seated faith in people which I don’t have.  That, or perhaps a deep seated faith in myself, and my own ability to generate positive emotions in conditions of darkness.  There is more hope for me in that latter possibility, because I am unlikely to develop a faith in people any time soon.  I do think most people instinctively try to do what is right most of the time, but I also think most of them are weak and stupid a distressingly high percentage of the time, and easily manipulated into damn near anything.

As Doris Lessing commented in one of the quotes I excerpted a week or so ago, your friends of today might easily be a part of a ravenous mob tomorrow.  This is the zombie metaphor, or at least a part of it.

I am calming down, though, which is good.