I thought the last entry percipient enough to share immediately. I mean the part about fear and the self. I appended the comments on the Temple of Ser to increase my clarity.
In an ocean, all perceptions are relative: nearer and farther, brighter and darker, heavier and lighter, warmer or colder, happier or sadder.
Namarupa, energetically, is naming emotions—this is happiness and this sadness; and the form is a persistent energetic form, what we would use to recognize one another without bodies.
Sukhaduhkhasamo is not indifference or numbness. Numbness is suppressed pain. It is not life. Endless self abuse, done however enthusiastically, does not equate to wisdom. SDS (sure) is, I thinkfeel, INTEREST. Engagement. ACCEPTANCE without fighting, whining, avoiding, or cringing.
Thinkfeel is good.
In a time war you could have a billion conflicts in a split second.
Effectively, Collectivism is Tribalism, making Individualism an anti-Tribalism.
I was thinking about this the other day: what do you call an individual who does not hesitate to destroy anyone—even the innocent—who gets in their way, and who does do with no remorse? A sociopath. And is this not EXACTLY what the Shriekers in this country are doing? They do their best to RUIN people, just for disagreeing with them.
If living is an art it is an art that can be improved in its artistry.
The purposes of life are not linear. And the connections, if any, between our often sundry purposes are rarely obvious. Living is enough, with as much openness and acceptance and even wonder as we can manage.
I think for most Leftists faith equals hope for the future. They have been captured by for them real worries they cannot otherwise manage.
Minds can only think in lines. But the universe does not ultimately work in lines, even i it does manifest countkess lines, like F=MA
Deep inner order, which is to say flowing atunement with What Is (behind the shell we can see) looks like confusion, because it is non-limear. X leads to Y, but not on a visible, replicable path. It is sufficient that it is so. That it is so could be called scientific, but since it depends on Life, no machine will ever flow from it.
Anyone unable to mete out individual violence will look for collective violence. This applies both to those lacking the physical courage and capacity, as well as to those disarmed by policy. Thus: one person, one vote, one gun is the true Liberal creed. And though I wanted to say Man, are guns and votes not also nevessary both for the full humanity of women and their emotional and physical safety?
Principle: the people providing the weapons determine the cause and methods by which it is pursued.
Is Yahweh, “ I am that I am”, a spiritual virus? A demigod and not something fully compliant with the Tao, or Will of Heaven far above, far below, far within, and far away?
Its important to remember in conscious breathing the POINT is to not consciously do anything. Over time this must build trust. Write down Ilse Mittendorffs line.
I think 4:30 consistency would produce a different and interesting squeeze later in the day.
Note that a key hidden reason to facilitate illegal immigration is that ballot collecting is very organized and likely connected to the Mexican mafia.
With regard to distributing individual rage and frustration collectively in sacrifice, there is a sort of game played. A may hate B, C, and D, as well as X. B may hate A, C, Q, and W, as well as X. Multiply this process and you get scapegoats, who stand in for everyone else a person wants to strangle. They are outliers and defenseless. And I think the act of sacrifice itself must include the feeling of disgust, which displaces into communion.
The first principle of procrastination is “create an artificial obstacle or magnify those that actually exist.”
When dealing with emotional “problems”—knots, lack of movement, stasis—the solution will not normally be found by the part of us consciously searching for it. I think it appears, then we ratify it. Maybe.
I think for me Chicago represented tradition, a home, a place to feel safe. I have dreamt about it often, the decision to leave and the decision to leave X. Last night it still felt present. It would seem I made both decisions with my mind and will, as i usually do, and never really tried to return to a peace I have in any event never known, by reconciling my emotions with this decision.
As far as Chicago, though, it is no longer a safe place. What should be a place standing on 120 or whatever years of its own tradition and perhaps 900 years of Western scholastic tradition, is cannibalizing itself. It is destroying everything that makes us special, most importantly our habit of honest self criticism. All the criticism now is fake, deluded and quasi-maniacal.
I wonder if every 5 pounds gained equals one unit of unprocessed emotion. Fat people in general are likely more sensitive and perhaps emotionally weaker, so even in relatively easy lives they accumulate emotions and through continual media distraction and on-going overeating “protect” many sensitive places.
Being polite or, relatively speaking, rude, is a CHOICE. Most people never realize that going along to get along is not their only option. An asshole like me (sometimes) is someone defending themselves from fake friendliness and sometimes reflexive stupidity by not playing the game we are expected to play. There is no intrinsic value in rudeness, but MUCH in the behavioral flexibility that makes it possible.
You cannot fight fear with fear, which is what responding with anger amounts to. You can only fight it with profound calm. And fear of course often, perhaps generally, leads to violence, and you can of course fight violence with violence, but this is a ruptured system, a punctuated peace. But I think fear—and to be sure the RATIONALIZATION of fear—generally precedes violence, which is in nearly all cases conceived of as defensive. The fearful person reasons they would not fear for no reason, so they find someone they can claim is “attacking” them, like the Jews then, and conservatives (Residual Liberals?) now.
The real world, which is the secret world, is small enough that we are all connected to it.
Knish with puff pastry
Drug use is an obvious extension of the idea that you both can and should buy experience, rather than work to create it.
The purpose of meditation—paying attention—is to learn to feel the sparks of diverse life flying out of everyone and everything.
The feeling of calm serves two purposes. First, even though it is true worry has uses, most of the things we worry about never come to pass, making that worry in effect work done for nothing, with that energy becoming something that could have been better invested. Secondly, when problems DO come—and they often if not usually come from directions we did not do the work of worrying about, since they are unexpected—calmness helps both clear thinking and consistent action.
I see now that my father was paralyzed by a host of anxieties he managed by denying. I have been doing the same thing. Strange I am so advanced in years, just now seeing this. I loved trumpeting bravery, which is perhaps why I ignored the cowardice underlying it. I did not know how to do differently, so I didn’t.
It occurs to me that Liberalism and Leftism are virtual opposites: Liberals tend to trust ordinary people but not governments and the people who aspire to run governments. Leftists, which is to say autocrats, mistrust ordinary people but have extraordinaryp faith in themselves. Thus, corrupting ordinary people to “fix” their society is a correctable, fixable problem. Utopia is what you get when the “right sorts of people” are in charge. And utopians can be trusted with guns but not ordinary people.
I wonder if the weight of ordinary joy is less than that of shame or sorrow. Is it not the weight of the mutable relation with a world in constant flux that matters?
Self importance is a defensive aggresion that acts like a sealer or glue on our flaws and dysfunctions, to keep them solid, stable, and invisible with practice and small habits of will.
The more impulse I feel to push out, the more likely I am not allowing. seeing, processing and learning.
Sadness is a growing pain of wisdom.
I think one way of putting the aim of spiritual work is the ability to pray and know it is pure.
A pedophile is nothing more or less than somrone who consumes the emotional energy of a child. Sex is only one way to do it.
The sense of self is what enables participation in a community or any larger whole. If your emotions are alienated from you, your self is also, as is any possibility of belonging.
I wake up every perceiving the world as essentially hostile, which is why I go to thoughts immediately.
The images of both my parents in my head represnt boundaries, higher than which they demanded I did not rise.
I think another root of my cyclicity is that I feel shame when I do the “right” thing and also the wrong. They are different sorts of shame, though, and perhaps some part of me gets, or hopes to get, relief thereby.
Good people are united in love and communion; bad people in shame and shared following violence.
The self is the locus of pleasure and pleasure the root of virtue. Virtue is really nothing more or less than loving, and getting pleasure from the loving, of goodness. A person trapped in fear and shame is a flat person, a personless person, a person without a self or the capacity for the sense of pleasure necessary for growth. Many of us are wired as social creatures but incapable of society, which a cruel and very painful fate. We are surrounded by the water of comfort but condemned like Tantalus never to drink any.
Socialism, as a principled validation of non-existence, is a logical mode of moral being in such a barren and denuded organismic—I won’t say personal—universe. Set is really a logical mythic representation of this, and in my understanding the root value of the renewed public Temple of Set in Santa Barbara more or less promises an enlarged and aggrandised Self. Such a religion is only suitable for those who live in fear of their daily experience of non-existence, itself caused by fear. As I have said, the masks of dark cults, and their violence both, come from losing all sense of self in fear. This is approaching a general theory of human expression itself. Felt Being is good. Fear, the opposite of Being, is the absence of this innate Goodness. Fear is a rejection of both the particle AND the wave. It can lead only to habits of sustenance and survival, never life, making the capacity for deep calm and tranquility the gateway to all happiness and wisdom.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_of_Set
I will note, on this last, that I am pretty sure most of the power elite in this country have what should probably be called castles in the hills of Santa Barbara; and, as I likely noted the last time I mentioned this, such a religion, being a boutique religion, an effectively aristocratic religion, and thus one innately congenial to a felt sense of priliege and specialness, would have powerful appeal to billionaires.
I will note, too, that I have both read and heard personal stories about the isolation and friendlessness of many of these people, many of whom suffered severe abuse in their own childhoods.