You know, I look at my own dreams and the content of emotions in an average day, and feel the need to make this comment: all of us are crazy, and the worst among us are utterly convinced they are the sanest.
Me, I am crazier than most, BUT I KNOW IT, and in many respects I think I am thus saner than most.
In this time and this nation it is very hard to be sane. It’s impossible to be “normal”. The best you can hope for is outwardly not unusual, and inwardly not too overcome with anxiety and obsession.
But we have propaganda cannons firing all around us, agitating us, pushing us, confusing us, creating divisions among us, all operated by people who themselves are utterly, batshit insane. People like Klaus Schwab and Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos. They are of course highly sane, in that they are pursuing clear plans with consistent diligence, but the Nazis were no different. They had clear plans they pursued with absolute efficiency and scientific rigor. But the PLANS were insane.
So be kind to yourself. And if you want to start chasing sanity, try to get outside in the silence more. Go for long walks in the woods. Turn down or off the endless noise in your life. Grow things. Cook slowly and indulgently as time permits.
And for me, Tarthang Tulku’s Kum Nye has been a big help. I’m getting consistent with 27 minutes in the morning and evening. It’s not much, but going deep into feeling is terrifying for people like me, and probably like most Americans.
To take one obvious example, in the section on massage he says to massage your sternokleidomastoid muscle for ten minutes. For those of us who are normally anxious, this is a long time. Doing something really slowly for ten minutes, then sitting for ten minutes again, seems like a long, long time.
But it isn’t. For me, this has been a wall of my prison cell I have been hitting, and stopping, and which is slowly getting softer.
As I say, for ME I need to stop blogging, but I thought I might offer something consoling, if in fact anyone benefits from a single word I write ever. That was my effort, but it was the best I can do this morning as I head out to face projects that scare me, as I do nearly every day.