Until you resolve underlying trauma, relaxation will always be the enemy. Because when you relax, you MEET the enemy.
And obviously, this is one reason to be combative: if you are always in conflict, there is never any danger of meeting the REAL enemy. This is almost certainly my own problem.
As I say, when I heal, I won’t walk back anything I’ve said, in terms of content. There will no doubt be MUCH that I will regret in terms of tone, personal attack, and the like. I have often been much too much like the people I have been fighting. They are, by and large, wrong in most of what they contend, and I have argued why at length and over time. For their part, they are UNABLE to articulate the reasons for nearly everything they shout to the world–I saw this multiple times daily across perhaps 15 years–and rely instead on violence and censorship to create the illusion of an option-less world.
Still, if it is still possible to live in a genuinely good world, one characterized by genuine tolerance, goodwill, hope, charity and love, then my methods need to improve. And they have, to be sure, and I expect that to continue.